Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Bébé Deux Week 13 Update

Don't forget to vote for what you think bébé is! You'll have to be on my actual blog page to do so.

Today's date: May 28, 2013

How far along: 13 Weeks - YAY 2nd trimester!!

Total weight gain: I gained a little this week, but have lost about 4 pounds overall.

Size and growth of baby: Bébé is the size of a peach! The vocal chords are forming, and the intestines are moving from the umbilical chord to bébé's tummy. They also have fingerprints! {via}

Baby is a: baby for now. We should find out in 6 weeks!

Maternity clothing: I wear maternity pants consistently, but shirts are still a mix of maternity and regular.

Sleep: Aside from getting ridiculously hot, I sleep pretty well overall.

Movement: None yet

Cravings/Aversions: Cravings are spaghetti, sweet potato fries, watermelon, sour candy, corn dog with mustard, lime popsicles, and strawberry limeades from Sonic. Aversions are the same: meats, anything overly sweet, Mexican food, fast food, and anything that just happens to sound awful at the time.

Morning Sickness: Overall, it has actually improved. I have been taking a Zofran at lunch everyday. I usually get queasy around 11:15 a.m., then again at 8:30 p.m. I did have a moment this past week where I got really sick and worried it was food poisoning. However, I felt better pretty fast so I think I just ate something my body did not want in it!

Symptoms: Sore/heavy boobs, lower back pain, pimples, a little heartburn, some nausea, peeing a fair amount, and tired.

Labor Signs: None

Belly button in or out: In

How this pregnancy is different than the first: I was still really sick, and also lost more weight with Jillian. I'm breaking out on my chin almost twice as much as I did with Jillian. 

The best moment of this past week: Celebrating our 5th anniversary, getting a project done at the house, and enjoying some of my cravings ;)

What I miss: Nothing at all!

I'm looking forward to: No severe weather anymore, feeling movements, my trip to Chicago, enjoying more food, and hearing the heartbeat again soon, (June 4th)!

Bump Comparison:
{Left: Jillian 2011 Right: Bébé Deux 2013}

Saturday, May 25, 2013

All Will Be Well

I kinda disappeared for a few days. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've had a hard time. Also, it's been so stormy the last few days so I've been jumpy about all the thunder and such. I really just have to get over it and keep going. It's just proving to be harder than I expected.

My mom told me once that I need to change my life mantra. Currently, my mantra seems to be "Oh God, Oh God, Dear Jesus, Oh God!" Meaning, I worry way too much, and too often. Instead, my mantra should be "All will be well, and all will be well, and all things will be well." I'm working on it, but it may take awhile. Besides, with all my extra hormones floating around, I'm a little extra anxious than normal.

Yesterday, Phil and I celebrated 5 years of marriage :) My how time flies! He had to work during the day, but he came home with some P.F. Chang's for dinner! Unfortunately, I ended up getting really sick overnight. Luckily for me, Phil took the "in sickness and in health" vow literally ;) He helped me get comfortable and has been really great all day today. I feel better now, so I'm hoping it was just a one time thing.
{Photo Credit: Colorband PhotoArtisans}

Today has been fairly low key, but I'm glad for it. We went grocery shopping, watched some Netflix, and Skyped with my folks. Tomorrow, we have church, Phil has a little yard work to do, and that's about it!

I hope y'all are doing ok!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Heavy Heart - Worse Than May 3rd

I want to start off by saying thank you to all of you. For checking in on my family. For all the prayers that are desperately needed.

We are ok. In fact, our home was not in the path. We had a few friends in that area. One lost her home, but she and her three children are safe and unharmed. Another is safe, and their home is ok. Thankful for God's protection on so very many.

I just have a few things I need to get off my chest in order to process everything the last few days. This is going to be a little disjointed, so sorry for that. I'm not even going to go through and edit. I don't think I could handle thinking about this more than I have to. More than anything, this is for me. A way to heal.
  • Starting this month, Phil starting getting paid differently. Because of this, we are basically losing $400 a month. I was informed of just how bad it was Friday morning. This just started a wave of bad attitudes and feel down. It only got worse from there.
  • I thought losing our power was just awful Sunday morning. I went on and on about it being so hot, losing the food in our fridge, etc. Now I feel like a fool because it was back on in 36 hours. Sure it was a pain to deal with, but we barely had any other damage. Just a piece of fence we have to nail back in place.
  • We ran to Tulsa to escape the heat and bad weather after church Sunday. As soon as we go into city limits, I checked on the weather at home. A funnel cloud was basically forming over our house. I proceeded to cry and worry about all of those we love. Luckily, it sounds like none of our friends or church family had any major damage and all were safe. Shawnee wasn't so lucky. I drove to the mall there for driver's ed in high school. Thankfully, the two people I know who live in that area were fine. Considering the storm, it was amazing that the death and injured tolls were not larger. We barely got thunderstorms in Tulsa proper. We were able to sleep decently in the air conditioning.
  • We woke up Monday early enough to get home so Phil could get to work. Poor guy had to wake up so early on his birthday! It was cloudy and windy, but didn't seem too bad.
  • Jillian had speech therapy at 2 pm. I kept watching the weather and nothing was popping up. I even checked 3 separate times on the way to the clinic. It was cloudy, but not even that dark when I walked into the building. Heck, the sun was even out! About 15 minutes into the session, I can hear the rain. Then hail. As Jillian starts to cry out of frustration, we hear the sirens. We start to move into a booth, but were told they are not structurally sound. With that in mind, we all walked to the back hallway where we sat trying to keep all the babies entertained for the next 20 minutes. I got in touch with Phil who said it should stay south and not to worry. Once we got the all clear, Jillian and I went home.
  • I listened to the local station on my phone all the way home. I prayed aloud and cried most of the way. We have some good friends down there, and I was having flashbacks to May 3rd, 1999.
  • The problem with tornadoes for me is that I always imagine May 3rd. We had a few close calls in  Arkansas, but my first real tornado experience was May 3rd. It was coming for us after it ripped apart almost the same area of Moore that got hit yesterday. The worst part was the fact that they were misspeaking when it was getting close to our house that day. We had no idea exactly how close it was until later. It ended up lifting just about 2 miles west of us. I just remember thinking we were going to all die that day. This is why I don't trust tornadoes whatsoever.
  • There were some darkish clouds north of our house, but they didn't even drop rain on us. Once I turned on the TV and saw Moore, it was all I could do to not lose it.
  • A girl I was really close to in 8th and 9th grade posted on Facebook that her house and neighborhood were gone. Then, I found out two of her three kids were in the elementary school where children were trapped. She quickly found her daughter, but it took over an hour for her to update that her son was pulled ok and was ok. Shortly after that, they announced on the news that they were expecting to just recover bodies from that school from then on.
  • I went from not being able to imagine not being able to find your children to finding out your child was gone. That's a hard enough thing to think about, let alone when you're pregnant!
  • The hardest part was watching these seasoned news reporters choking up as they gave us information like that. 
  • Another story involved the recovery of a young woman and her 7 month old who were trying to hide in a freezer in a convenience store. 7 months old! Unimaginable.
  • Something crazy to both Phil and I is the fact that we looked at homes in that area last year. When we considered Moore, we looked in the area close to I-44 in order to help with Phil's commute. We could have been there. It wasn't until I just couldn't get over the thought of May 3rd that we focused more on homes in our current area of the metro. Phil said he would have raced home if we lived there and he couldn't get ahold of me. It took 10 minutes from the hook forming to the tornado touching down. If he had driven, he would have gotten hit! I can't even think about it.
  • Also, Phil told me that, at 2:05, it got pitch black outside of his office. They looked at the radar and a hook was forming nearby. It would have touched down on top of their building and would have headed toward downtown OKC. Two people in his office split immediately. One even peeled out in the parking lot! However, because the storm that produced the tornado in Moore developed faster, it took all the energy out of the one above Phil. I'm glad there weren't two at the same time!
  • Phil finally got home about 4:30 safe and sound. I was so relieved and couldn't stop crying. Between feeling so sad/helpless, and happy that we were all safe, I just lost it. 
  • I finally had to stop watching the news. It's just making everything worse. Hearing that this was even worse than May 3rd just did me in. I thought May 3rd was a once-in-a-lifetime storm. To have another 14 years later that's worse? I can't even deal.
  • We made a nice, quick meal for Phil's birthday. He had a birthday cupcake, and opened his gifts/cards. I think considering everything that happened, he had a good birthday. It was the last birthday in his 20's so hopefully the 30's will be less exciting :)
  • I ended the day bathing my precious girl in our unharmed home. We went into her bedroom where we had a little dance party with her daddy. Hearing Jillian giggle while I was surrounded by my sweet little family was exactly what my soul needed. That's what life is about. I am so very blessed and need to keep that in mind.

Bébé Deux Week 12 Update

{I will be doing a second post today involving the tornado from yesterday}
{For those who don't know, we are fine, but I'm still pretty emotionally rattled and will be for awhile}

Today's date: May 21, 2013

How far along: 12 Weeks

Total weight gain: I have lost about 6 pounds. I think the stress from yesterday really caught up with me.

Size and growth of baby: Bébé is the size of a plum! The brain is developing fast, just like most of their organs and tissue. They are opening and closing their fingers, and even curling their toes! {via}

Baby is a: I have to wait until 19 weeks for the ultrasound. You should vote for your guess on the side panel!

Maternity clothing: I wear maternity pants consistently, but shirts are still a mix of maternity and regular.

Sleep: Hit or miss lately, but only because of the weather situation we've had since Saturday night. I can't really nap, but I seem to get plenty of sleep overnight. Also, I've already had a few restless nights because I have realistic nightmares that keep me from getting a quality night's sleep.

Movement: None yet

Cravings/Aversions: Cravings are spaghetti, nachos, lime popsicles, and strawberry limeades from Sonic. Aversions are still meats, anything overly sweet, Mexican food, fast food, and anything that just happens to sound awful at the time.

Morning Sickness: It has actually improved lately, but I have been taking a Zofran at lunch everyday just to be safe. I usually get queasy around 11:15 a.m., then again at 8:30 p.m. It's almost like clockwork!

Symptoms: Sore/heavy boobs, lower back pain, a little heartburn, some nausea, peeing a fair amount, and tired.

Labor Signs: None

Belly button in or out: In

How this pregnancy is different than the first: I was still really sick with Jillian at this point. I also lost more weight with Jillian. I feel like I have a bit more energy this time, and I seem to be craving/eating things I couldn't until I was deeper into my second trimester!

The best moment of this past week: Celebrating Phil's birthday :)

What I miss: Nothing at all!

I'm looking forward to: NO MORE TORNADOES, feeling movements, celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary, my trip to Chicago, enjoying more food, and moving on to the second trimester!
Now to compare pictures :)
{Left: Jillian 2011 Right: Bébé Deux 2013}

Monday, May 20, 2013

We're Safe, but Prepared for Round 3

I just wanted to do a quick update to let y'all know we're ok!

Saturday night, we were supposed to just get strong thunderstorms. Well, it ended up being mostly straight line winds with lots of rain. It knocked out our power around 9:30 p.m. We figured it would be on again after church at the latest. On our way to church, we saw why it was out; the wind had knocked over several metal power poles close to our neighborhood. In fact, it did that for almost a full mile! {I have a photo I took from my phone, but I'll have to share it later.}

We found out through our power company's website that it could take up to 3 days to get our power back. Not only would it be really hot, (the high yesterday was 90), but we had two nights of severe weather on our way. With that in mind, we packed up and headed to Tulsa to stay with Phil's parents. About 20 minutes away from their house, I checked the weather, and that's when we saw the tornado in Edmond forming. Honestly, it sounds like the funnel formed right above our house, but didn't actually touch down until it was a few miles east. We may have hail damage, but we'll see.

Of course, I was crying because we had to leave the cats at home. I didn't want them to die thinking we abandoned them. Silly, I know, but remember I'm pregnant and irrational!

Anyways, the storms ended up fizzling out before they got to Tulsa city limits. We were able to sleep soundly and with some air conditioning! We heard a rumor that the power could come on today, so we're about to head home. Phil has a meeting at 3 he can't miss, and Jillian has therapy at 2. Hopefully it's back on so we can sit out the next round of storms for tonight. I will be on Twitter updating periodically, but I'm sure I'll update again tomorrow so y'all know we're safe :)

It seems most of our church family and friends were ok, so I hope that rings true for tonight as well! Even though we were fine, I know several people had lots of damage. I'm sure there are some injuries too with some of the later storms. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of them. If I wasn't pregnant, I'd probably volunteer with Red Cross to help clean up!

Sadly, today is Phil's birthday and I know he didn't want to spend it without power, and running away from tornadoes :-/ Hopefully I can still make him feel special today, because I am personally so thankful he was born :)

Happy Monday y'all!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Bébé Deux Week 11 Update

Today's date: May 14, 2013

How far along: 11 Weeks

Total weight gain: I have lost about 3.5 pounds

Size and growth of baby: Bébé is the size of a lime! Toes and fingers are no longer webbed. Moving and squirming all around, even though mama can't feel the movements yet. Tooth buds, hair follicles, and nail beds are forming! {via}

Baby is a: I have to wait until 19 weeks for the ultrasound. I'm guessing girl, and Phil is guessing boy :) You should vote on the side column of my page!

Maternity clothing: Wearing more than I did with Jillian at this point, but I feel like I'm showing a bit more already. Regular shirts still fit ok, but they look shorter than normal.

Sleep: I've been really tired this week, but haven't slept well. I get enough time, but not enough quality :-/ Hopefully that'll change soon!

Movement: None yet, but can't wait :)

Cravings/Aversions: Cravings are avocados, pickles, watermelon, olives, Chinese food/rice, and spaghetti. Aversions are still meats, anything overly sweet, Mexican food, mac n cheese, fast food, and anything that just happens to sound awful at the time.

Morning Sickness: I threw up for the first time on Saturday. It was pretty awful, but luckily it hasn't happened again since. Hopefully, that was my only time *knocks on wood* My appetite is a bit better, but I'm still not just real hungry. I also get full faster. I take Zofran a few times a week, but not everyday or that often. Usually 1 will work for the day. I do have to watch my liquid intake. If it has been kinda low, I get queasy quickly. Same thing if I haven't eaten in 2 hours.

Symptoms: Sore/heavy boobs, lower back pain, a little heartburn, some nausea, peeing a fair amount, and tired.

Labor Signs: None

Belly button in or out: In

How this pregnancy is different than the first: Even after Saturday, I was still much more sick with Jillian that I had lost twice the amount of weight by this point. Also, I feel like I have a bit more energy than last time, but that just could be because I have to have some energy to take care of Jillian.

The best moment of this past week: Planning a trip with my folks, seeing an old friend finally finish up nursing school and get pinned tonight, announcing our pregnancy on facebook today, and having my 2nd official Mother's Day :)

What I miss: Nothing at all!

I'm looking forward to: Celebrating Phil's birthday, feeling movements, my trip, enjoying more food, and getting into the second trimester soon!
{No Jillian's Week 11 Update}
{I was out of town for my best friend's wedding :)}

Monday, May 13, 2013

Side Column Update

Howdy folks!

I just thought I'd give a quick update on two new features on my side column. {You'll have to be on my actual blog page to see}

1) As I'm sure you've heard lately, Google Reader is going away in the next few months. I have signed up on Bloglovin. Underneath my Twitter icon, I have a follow button for Bloglovin'. If you use Goggle Reader to follow my blog, would you click on it pretty please? I don't wanna lose you :)

2) Underneath my 2013 Word and Scripture, I have a poll for Bébé Deux! If you think bébé is a boy, choose Team Tie. If you think bébé is a girl, choose Team Tutu. I have the poll open until right before I leave for my mission trip in mid-July. I don't have an exact day that we're doing the ultrasound yet, but I'll definitely let you know.

*Side note* With Jillian, those who voted on her poll ended up being right! I'm curious to see if it rings true for Bébé Deux too :)

 I hope you have a great Monday today!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day 2013

{From left to right: My brother, mother, and I on my first Mother's Day 1986}

The Wide Spectrum of Mothering

To those who gave birth this year to their first child - we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year - we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge 
     of food stains - we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or 
     running away - we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, 
     tears, and disappointment - we walk with you. Forgive us when we say 
     foolish things. We don't mean to make this harder than it is
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms - we need 
     you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children - we 
     celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your 
     children - we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year - we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother - we 
     acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall 
     testing of motherhood - we are better for having you in our midst
To those who have aborted children - we remember them and you on this day
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own 
     children - we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it 
     to be
To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is 
     not to be -we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year - we grieve and
      rejoice with you
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising - 
     we anticipate with you

This Mother's Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.
by Amy Young (http://messymiddle.com)

This was in our bulletin at church this morning. I thought it was too beautiful not to share today :)
Two other groups I would like to celebrate:

Single parents who work hard every day to be both parents for their children.
Fur-baby parents who give just as much love and devotion as parents of human babies.

*****
To the girls I love most:

{Mother's Day 2008}
To the woman who brought me into the world - Thank you so much for the love and support you have given me over the last 27 years. You are a big piece of my heart, and I'm proud to call you mother and friend :)

{May 2008}
To the woman who raised my husband - I am so thankful to have you in my life. You are wonderful, beautiful, and the example of the kind of Godly woman I hope to become. Thank you for your love, and know that I look forward to the future as our relationship grows! 

{December 2011}
To the amazing little girl that I love most - I am so amazed by you. Watching you grow and learn has been pure joy for me! It has been hard at times, but we are in this together. Thank you for making my dreams of being a mommy come true! I love you my sweet girl :) 

{April 2013}
To the baby growing inside of me - Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy. I know I'm not perfect, but I promise to love you with every ounce of my being. Keep growing in there, and I will do everything I can to make sure you are healthy and safe in there. Hang on little tomato! I love you.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Tantrums

You guys, the past two days have been hard. Yesterday was actually the worst.
Jillian has started throwing full on tantrums, and it is no joke y'all.

It is just so hard because the littlest things set her off. Today has been much better, but I've still had to deal with a few here and there.

A part of me would rather get the terrible twos out of the way, but I was in tears by the end of the day yesterday. I told my mom what I was doing in response to these tantrums, and she said I was doing well and to just stay as consistent as I can. It was still pretty awful though :(

Besides this new personality development, things have been decent around here. I've just been really physically tired. However, it's the I'm-tired-but-still-can't-sleep kind of tired. Hopefully I can get something worked out soon.

I'm looking forward to the weekend! Phil has a men's work day at church tomorrow morning, but then he's all ours for the rest of the day :)

What are you looking most forward to this weekend?

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Bébé Deux Week 10 Update

Today's date: May 7, 2013

How far along: 10 Weeks

Total weight gain: I have lost about 3 pounds. I find it interesting because, the days I actually ate, I felt like I ate a lot. I guess not!

Size and growth of baby: Bébé is the size of a prune! All of their vital organs are fully developed, cartilage and bones are forming, and they are already swallowing and kicking! {via}

Baby is a: We have about 9 weeks until we know!

Maternity clothing: Most pants, and some shirts.

Sleep: Sleep is pretty good for me. I don't always get a nap, but I just go to bed by 10 on the days I'm exhausted. It all works out ok.

Movement: None yet, but the doctor saw plenty on our ultrasound today. Wiggly just like their big sister ;)

Cravings/Aversions: Most of my cravings have been for something sour or watermelon, (but not sour watermelon). Also, pretzels with cheese sauce, nachos, and whole dill pickles are on my list. Aversions are mostly meat, fried chicken, mexican food, fast food, burgers... really just about anything that's not mac n' cheese, mashed potatoes, or my current craving. I've had to mute the TV a lot because those silly food commercials are making me queasy!

Morning Sickness: Queasy here and there. Mostly, I just have zero appetite. Hopefully that'll be over soon. I can't wait to enjoy eating again. I don't take Zofran every day, which is nice.

Symptoms: Sore/heavy boobs, a little heartburn, some nausea, peeing a fair amount, and tired.

Labor Signs: None

Belly button in or out: In

How this pregnancy is different than the first: I was really sick with Jillian almost the whole time. This time, I just have moments of nausea, but no vomiting. My lower back gets sore/tired really quickly with this pregnancy too.

The best moment of this past week: Meeting my friends' sweet baby boy, a successful youth group event, and hearing bébé's strong heartbeat today!!

What I miss: Nothing :)

I'm looking forward to: Feeling movements, enjoying food again, and getting into the second trimester soon!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Randomness

Thanks to my pregnancy brain returning, my brain is just not running on all four cylinders anymore. Plus, today is rainy, windy, and cold. Yucky day indeed. So here's a post of just randomness.
  • We got to see our friends Carrie, Jon, and their precious son E yesterday!! I was happy to finally meet Mr. Man, and spend some time with them :) They just recently moved closer so hopefully we'll get to visit them sometime in the next year! Since I forgot to ask, I'll post a picture of Jillian and E where E isn't facing the camera. Trust me, he's a sweet little cutie patootie ;)
{It looks like Jillian's all "Hello there!"}
  • Sunday is going to be super busy, but really fun for me! I'm pretty much going to be at church all day. I have service, a catered lunch, a girl's youth group event, then a meeting. At least all these things will be fun!
  • One of the few things I can eat right now is mac and cheese. Luckily for me, Jillian likes it too!
    {Happy Girl}
  • I really love this picture of Jillian from the Arts Festival last weekend. Between her belly showing, and her pigtails, I just die :)
    {<3}
  • My parents missed more snow last night, but my mom's office in Wisconsin got 14 inches! Can you believe that?! So she got a snow day today. Hopefully for them, this is the last of the wintery weather. I mean, their lake just thawed out the day before the snow storm!
  • The other day, I didn't see Jillian. I tried singing a special song that she usually comes running toward me when I sing it. However, she didn't come. I got up, walked toward the window in the kitchen. Then, I saw this...
     {Think I found her}
    {Peek a boo Jilly!}
  • Next week is busy! Jillian has a booth test, then therapy on Monday. Tuesday is my doctor's appointment where we can hopefully hear bébé deux's heartbeat. Wednesday is typical busy church day with bible study, choir, and youth group. I think Thursday and Friday and free after  that. I hope so, just so I can do laundry.
Hope y'all are doing well :)

But I Know What It Feels Like

This post is going to be awfully vulnerable and hard for me, but I really want to finally say it out loud. I got permission for my daughter ...