You're Under The Gun...

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I've heard REO Speedwagon on the radio the last three times I've turned on my car. What is the universe trying to tell me?! Maybe I need more 80's music in my life right now. No problem for me since I've been really into synthesizers lately. I love how my music tastes switch out so often. It gives me more variety.

I felt the title of this blog was very fitting for what's been going on with me lately. I've been so bogged down with reading, papers, social events, and medical issues that I just feel behind. As soon as I think I'm caught up, something else surfaces. Though I'm glad TV shows are coming back this week, I just don't have the time/energy to watch any of them. I've said it once and I'll say it again; thank you Jesus for DVR!!

Also, I've been feeling like I can't do anything right. Have you ever felt that way? I'm not understanding my assignments so I'm not getting the grades I think I am or should. Then I'm not keeping up with my closest friends very well. Of course, with my job being in customer service, I'm feeling helpless and incompetent 85% of the time. Hopefully I'll stop feeling like this soon.

Deep down I know that part of it is probably the fact that I'm graduating in December. Even though I hate school and all the time and pressure that goes with it... this is all I've ever known. I went to elementary school, high school, and now 6 1/2 years of college. Even after I got married, I was still in school. Granted it's not the exact same now that I live off campus and commute to school or work 30 minutes every single day. The real world is a scary place. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I know what I like doing and I know jobs that I may enjoy. However, I'll have to do something proactive about it once I graduate. I have to pick a job. I have to choose one path in life and see if it takes me somewhere I like. If not, I can just choose another path later. I will no longer have the opportunity to just sit on my butt and talk about what I like and dislike.

Now don't get me wrong, I like working. Overall, I do like the job I have now and wouldn't trade it for anything! However, we're not staying here so I'll have to find a new job wherever we move. I don't mind working from 8-5 during the work week or putting a little extra time in the office to accomplish something. I don't mind any of that. I guess my fear of failure and having to admit I couldn't do something is scarier to me than not having a job at all.

Just so we're clear, I will definitely NOT do something stupid to keep myself from graduating this December. I am too close to stop now. That wouldn't be fair to myself, let alone my family.

This grown-up thing sucks.

I hope y'all have been doing well! Happy Tuesday!

Peace to you,

"Take It On the Run" by REO Speedwagon

I Don't Look At The Clock...

I have two quick anecdotes to share with you today.

Before I start, I just want to point out that any potty humor I laugh at/share is thanks to my father. He's the one who still laughs at trucks on the road with the words "Super Duty" on the side of the door. To clarify, when I talked in this post about fighting off indigestion and cleaning the apartment, I did NOT mean cleaning up my own messes. Thank you, oh loving father, for pointing out the double meaning in that phrase. You're ridiculous and I love you daddy-o ;)

I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to have strange things happen to me. I'm clumsy in every sense of the word. I trip over my own feet on a flat surface, I've had a moth fly in my ear before, and other such things similar to this. I feel like this picture describes my relationship with my husband the best...

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Something funny is happening to me and he's just looking on. Awesome.

I have been caught more than once at work using the Photo Booth application to straighten my hair. I don't get into trouble for this, but it is a little embarrassing to have someone catch you. Maybe that's a personal issue. Anyways, I also use this Photo Booth to apply makeup as well. Today, I was about to put some mascara on when I got distracted by a phone call at work. I lean over to my right to write the conversation in my phone log, feel a tickle on my nose and look at the computer screen to find this...

Yep. That's mascara... on my NOSE! Seriously, who else has stuff like this happen to them?! So I had to do a mini walk-of-shame to the bathroom before anyone at work saw this. Geez, I amaze myself sometimes...

And no jokes about not letting Rudolph join in the reindeer games either.

I'm talking to you daddy-o!

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Everyone who has a significant other tells the story of how they met. Then they have a separate story of how they knew the other was "the one." This could even be a portion of the same story. Well, I want to share a similar story with you. However, it's not about Phil. It's about Annette. Ms. Annette Lopez, (soon to be Mrs. Annette Husting), is my BFF/Venus/Favorite Person In The World.

Annette and I met after I joined the Beta Epsilon chapter of Kappa Delta. We didn't really talk very much my freshmen year, but we always got along when we were together. During my sophomore year, we started volunteering for the same activities and she even joined the color guard in the marching band. We had lots of things in common and had great conversations.

Growing up with just an older brother, I was exposed to many things that only boys really cared about such as Super Mario Bros. on Nintendo, Transformers, Power Rangers, Ghostbusters, and the like. Annette seemed to understand all of this and we loved the fact that we could be giant nerds about it together. Well, due to my upbringing and love of all things Mario, I would stick objects to my upper lip to give the impression I had a mustache. I would use pens...

straws....

and even my own hair when it was long enough.

I would always get teased by my family, then eventually my husband for this habit. I would hold the object to my face and say "It's a me! Mario!!" The response was almost always an eye roll or "Courtney, cut it out!"

One day I was in Annette's room after band practice to watch a movie and relax. While the ending credits were rolling, Annette suddenly takes a large chunk of her hair, places it on her upper lip and says "MOOOOOSTACHE!!!!!!" My. mouth. dropped. to. the floor.

I had found my soulmate :)

So there you have it. It may seem silly, or even slightly stupid to you. However, this is the moment I knew that Annette and I would be best friends until we're old, crippled, and still cursing like sailors HAHA!

Before I go, I just want to say that I purchased Sara Bareilles' newest album, Kaleidoscope Heart the day it came out. If you like her, you will NOT be disappointed :) I whole-heartedly agree with this review of the CD. "Bluebird" is my favorite right now... Check it out!

Peace to you,

"Music" by Madonna

For Fear Of Living In Regret...

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I could very well update you with the mundane going ons from this past week. Then I could tell you what a fun, relaxing weekend I had. Although all those things happened, that's not what's on my heart to blog about today. I've been thinking about this for quite some times now. I'm mentally started this entry several times and debated with myself about posting this at all. However, I think this is necessary for me to say. It's not about anyone in particular and if anything, it's about me. Go figure right? haha In all seriousness, I just really wanted to be myself.

A few weeks ago, I created a new Livejournal account so that I could use it to rant. I felt free to talk about specifics in terms of people and situations that I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about in a public blog. Then I got to thinking about how most of us have certain facades. We don't want to me know as the gossip of the group, or the prissy one, or sometimes even the "Debbie Downer" in our circle of friends. We all have something about ourselves that we keep quiet so that other people will like us. I try really hard to not complain and be the lamenting one in my circle. Unfortunately, this means I tend to unload a lot on my family and husband. In fact, I wanted to post several times this week, but I was so mad or negative about everything, I chose not to.

If we just accept our own flaws like we do with our closest friends, does that change who we are? If we happen to be a little on the pessimistic side, does that mean we're not good, lovable people? If we admit that we are human and we have battles inside of ourselves, does that make us horrible people? If we do these things around people who know us intimately, why do we care if people who barely know us know about it? People will make opinions about you now matter how happy and bubbly you are. There is a girl that, to this day, still hates me from the day she met me my sophomore year of high school. Why does she not like me? I smile too much. *wait for it....* Excuse me?! If the WORST thing I do to make you hate me is being a happy person, then I feel like I'm doing ok.

Today I am writing a confession list. These are things I probably wouldn't have admitted publicly, but I know I do them. I'm on an honesty kick and I feel like, if these things should bleed over, you won't be as surprised.

* When I'm angry, I curse like a sailor. I try so hard to stop and I'm much better than I used to be. However, it can get pretty ugly. I'd love to stop this habit completely before we have children, but I'm not too worried if it's not completely gone. I feel like I can hold my tongue around anyone under the age of 18

* Although I love all of them very much, when my cats do something wrong, I'm tempted to give them away. I get onto Phil for talking like that, but I secretly debate this idea in my own head. Mostly this happens when they don't use the litter box

* I can handle insects when I'm in a group of girls and I usually kill or take care of them. However, if there's a man nearby, I feel free to be just as freaked out and let them handle the bugs

* Sometimes I sneak a spoonful of peanut butter or ice cream when no one is looking. I'm sure I've been caught before, but I like to think I'm sneakier than that

* I hate bell peppers

* I have a very methodical way of doing everything, and it usually involves even numbers of multiples of five. For example, I was explaining to Phil last night about why I don't always care for the fish to be on the outside of a sushi roll like he does. I explained it was because I take a piece in my mouth, split it into two halves, then chew one side, swallow, then chew the other side and swallow. If I don't bite the meat completely in half, I slightly choke on the fish as I'm chewing half #2. He couldn't stop laughing...

* Sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better about myself is making fun of other people

* I run behind in the morning because I'm usually yelling at the TV about political stuff. I hate the fact that the most outrageously opinionated people in our country don't actually know what's going on. They just watch FoxNews of MSNBC all day and think they're experts

* I'm the only person I know who cried on their honeymoon because I was so full and thought of all the people on the same tiny island going to bed hungry

* My favorite video clips on America's Funniest Home Videos involves people being hit in the face. I will laugh uncontrollably for a long time

* I mentioned being a living jukebox. I usually have a song in my head and switch to a new song about 6 other times throughout the day. However, sometimes, like our drive home last night, the same four songs will just rotate for several hours. Phil calls it my shuffle being on repeat. This annoys me more than having a song I hate being stuck in my head

* On that note, for whatever reason, no matter what time of year it is, I will catch myself humming the lines "Oh ho, the mistletoe hung where you can see, Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me" from the song "Holly Jolly Christmas." I don't even think about it. It's like my default song. Also, it's only that little section of the song, never any other part or the full song

* I know it's better for me to stop eating carbs on top of limiting my sugar intake, but I love pasta and bread way too much to cut them from my diet. I'd rather be huge than go with carbs

* I get super competitive about games. It's hard to have a game night with other friends because it takes all my energy to not be angry when I'm losing. Blame that Irish heritage...

Peace to you,

"Shut Up and Let Me Go" by The Ting Tings

There Is No One Else That I Can Say This To...

Peace to you,

"Us Against The World" by Play *feeling a bit nostalgic today ;)*