Tuesday, May 31, 2011

On The Dinner Menu - Hormones

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This story will forever be affectionately known to Phil and I as "The Spaghetti Sauce Affair".

Ever since Phil and I found out we are expecting, he has been so good to me. He brings my medicine/vitamins with a big glass of water, he cooks almost every meal since I can't stand the smells, and he makes sure I'm comfortable. Being the type of person I am, I don't like having a big fuss made about me. I feel very guilty/ashamed if I feel like I'm getting too much attention. I try to say "please" and especially "thank you" to Phil as often as I can. I just want him to know how much I appreciate him and his caring ways.

However, with it being me, (a slight drama queen), I have had a few moments that I'm not real proud of thanks to the extra hormones in my body. Most of the time it involves crying, and other times it involves irritation.

To preface this story, I love spaghetti; especially spaghetti sauce. Not just any sauce, mind you. I love Ragu. I could eat Ragu - flavored with meat straight out of the bottle! I am also very picky about my spaghetti. I really don't like anything but noodles and sauce. No meat chunks, no veggies, nothing. Whether it was like this before or not, I realized soon after I became pregnant that there are little dehydrated onion pieces in the Ragu sauce. If it was there before, it did not bother me. However, now I find ever single onion and I hate it! It makes me so very sad because I love Ragu so much :( With that in mind, we decided to make our own sauce using canned tomato sauce and seasoning it ourselves.

Tonight was the first night we tried this new sauce. Since I felt sick, as usual, Phil made dinner. He brought a plate to me and I took a bite. It tasted really weird. The sauce was slightly sweet, but earthy at the same time. I took another bite. I knew exactly what happened.

"Phil, did you put rosemary in this?"

"Just one little shake, why?"

I've used several recipes that call for rosemary and I never like it. I just don't like the way rosemary tastes on just about anything. I tried picking out the rosemary pieces and it ends up taking a lot of time. I tried just eating the spaghetti anyways and I could barely make it through half the noodles. I could not stand the taste and it made me so sad. At this point, Phil realized I was not really eating and offered to run out and get more sauce to make a new batch.

I can't tell you if it was the fact that I was so hungry and wanted to eat with better sauce or if it was my fear of becoming a pregnazilla, (yes, I'm making it a word!), that I started to cry. I couldn't bear the thought of making Phil wait to eat dinner just to make more sauce for me. Phil threw his arms around me and assured me it would be ok. He offered to get more and I was not turning into a pregnazilla. Phil kissed my forehead and ran to Walgreen's for some more sauce.

When he got back, I offered to season the sauce myself while he made some new noodles. Once everything was done, we had a great meal together :)

Sometimes I wonder about my sanity. Who else would cry over spaghetti sauce?! Luckily I have a wonderful husband who loves me and bebe enough to endure my crazy emotions.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Bébé Week 12 Update

{a few notes about this picture: 1) It's really hot and humid so please excuse the hair, 2) The bulk of the bump right now is my stomach fat so don't be fooled. I don't see a different yet, but Phil thinks he does. Only time will tell :)}

I thought it would be better to title these normally instead of my typical song lyrics. It'll make the posts easier to find later :)


Also, I have a poll on the sidebar if you want to vote and guess what gender bebe is! I know I don't have many followers now, but I'm still interested in what you think!


I could tell you how exhausted/sick I've felt, or how beautiful my best friend's wedding last weekend was, or that Phil and I celebrated 3 years of a wonderful marriage.... but I won't. Other than those highlights, I'm just getting ready to be in my second trimester and able to enjoy my pregnancy!


Today's date: May 28, 2011

How far along: 12 weeks

Total weight gain: I've lost between 9 and 11 pounds so far. Not by choice mind you! However, I figure with myself being so overweight, the more I can give myself leeway before I start gaining, the better. Hopefully it'll even out. 

Size and growth of the baby: The size of a plum! Almost all of the major organ systems are fully developed. With the 2nd trimester in sight, I should be able to lose some of those early symptoms such as nausea and fatigue.

Sex: I have a feeling, but it's still too soon to know

Maternity clothes: I have a Be Band, 2 pairs of pants and a skirt. No shirts yet. I really wish Old Navy's maternity stuff was at the store and not just online. With it being SO hot and muggy, I'm looking into getting shorts for the summer!

Sleep: I wake up every night at 5 a.m. to pee and sometimes I'll add 2 a.m. as well. Otherwise, I sleep through the night really well. I think making our bedroom a "cat free" zone is really helping as well. It's annoying to hear them meowing outside the door at all hours, but it's better than them jumping on us.

Best moment(s) of the week: Making it to week 12!

Movement: Nothing yet.

Food cravings/aversions: My aversions are starting to grow: pork, most meats, sausage (even the word makes me sick!), mac & cheese, peanuts, peanut butter, strawberries, all mexican food, spinach, anything creamy. My craving this week was mostly Cinnamon Life cereal and Doritos.

Morning sickness: I take a Zofran everyday as close to noon as I can. Sometimes even with the medicine, I still get queasy. However, I am keeping food down and I figure I'd feel worse if I didn't take the medicine.

Symptoms: Constant sickness, tired, my hips ache from time to time, gassy (sorry Phil!), sore/heavy boobs, and bossy/irritated.

Labor signs: none

Belly button in or out: in

What I miss: Nothing really :)

What I'm looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat on June 2nd! Then the next day we're traveling to KC for a Royals game and will see my folks! It's the last "long" trip I'll take before bebe comes. We'll still go to Tulsa from time to time, but not further than that!


I'm going to add this category for special occasions -


Awkward moment(s) of the week: At Annette's wedding, a few people decided to rub my belly. That doesn't really bother me, but the ended up rubbing my belly fat instead of bebe. I thought it was funny and just didn't correct them!


Happy Saturday!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Bébé Week 10 Update

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What a week! I had so much to do the last part of the week that I did not even check my email over the weekend! However, it was completely worth it :)

Friday I went to the office for the first half of the day. Then I got home, helped Phil pick up a little, and then his parents came to the apartment. We relaxed for a bit before driving down to Norman to see my folks and drop Phil off so he could great ready for commencement! It was really chilly and windy, which is not what you would expect for mid-May in Oklahoma! However, the ceremony was great and I was filled with so much pride and joy when Phil was hooded :D Even though he still has some time before he's "officially" done, the end is in sight. I know he will be so happy and proud of his accomplishments once he's completely done. Until then, he's just working as hard as ever. I did get some pictures, but I haven't uploaded them yet. I may save them until he's completely done, but we'll see.

Saturday was busy trying to fit in as much time with my parents as I could while getting other things done. My mom took me to Home Depot for some plants as a belated Mother's Day/Easter gift! It was fun picking out the flowers, then playing in the dirt. I always thought gardening would be a fun hobby, but I've never had the resources to get started. Maybe this will start the ball rolling so that I can be ready when we have a house.

Sunday I drove up to Tulsa for Annette's wedding shower! Things went really well and she had a great time, (which was the entire point)! Plus, the mustache lollipops were a hit ;) After the shower, we got to hang out for just a little bit before Phil and I had to drive home. After going to bed around midnight the two nights prior, I was out like a light by 10:30, (after watching Army Wives as soon as I got in the door HAHA).

Monday was pretty uneventful.

Today I had a doctor's appointment with my nurse, Melanie. She sat Phil and I down and just explained what's going to be happening from here on out in terms of doctor visits, tests they can do or that they require, moved my due date back to 12/10 according to my LMP, (last menstrual period), and answers the questions we had. The really funny part about the visit is I learned Melanie is pregnant with her 3rd child! I think it's really cute that my nurse is pregnant too ;)  After our discussion, I had to give three vials of blood and a urine sample. Now that's done, here I am at the office.

Here is my baby update for 10 weeks, even though I'll have to move them to Saturdays from now on. It's so nice knowing I'm almost to the 2nd trimester!!

Today's date: May 17, 2011

How far along: 10 weeks, 3 days (10 weeks from old due date of 12/13)

Total weight gain: I've actually lost about 6 pounds so far. 

Size and growth of the baby: The size of a prune or small plum! The organ systems are established, the placenta is starting to work its magic and baby's eyes are closed until week 27. 

Sex: I think I know, but it's too soon to check

Maternity clothes: I have a Be Band for my jeans, 2 new maternity cargo pants, a black skirt, and a maternity dress from Kohl's and Target. I don't have any shirts yet. Also, if you have shopping suggestions, PLEASE send them my way! I'm having a hard time finding good stuff.

Sleep: I love to sleep. I usually feel like I could take a nap, but just laying down seems to satisfy that. 

Best moment(s) of the week: Seeing my folks, having a good doctor's appointment today, and watching my husband get hooded for his PhD!

Movement: Nothing yet.

Food cravings/aversions: My aversions are starting to grow: pork, most meats, mac & cheese, peanuts, peanut butter, strawberries, all mexican food, spinach, anything creamy. My craving this week was mostly Cinnamon Life cereal, whole pickles and nachos, (though I haven't had the nachos).

Morning sickness: I take a Zofran everyday as close to noon as I can. Sometimes even with the medicine, I still get queasy. However, I am keeping food down and I figure I'd feel worse if I didn't take the medicine.

Symptoms: Constant sickness, tired, gassy (sorry Phil!), sore/heavy boobs, and bossy/irritated.

Labor signs: none

Belly button in or out: in

What I miss: Nothing really :)

What I'm looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat on June 2nd! Also, my best friend is getting married on Friday, which also happens to be Phil's birthday!! Big and fun weekend for sure!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Bébé Week 9 Update

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Sorry, no picture. I don't feel entirely comfortable posting any right now. Maybe when I'm further along and you can tell it's a baby and not just my fat :)


Today's date: May 10, 2011

How far along: 9 weeks

Total weight gain: I've actually lost about 6 pounds so far. 

Size and growth of the baby: The size of a green olive. 

Sex: not sure

Maternity clothes: I bought a Be Band from Target late last week and it's been really nice having around :) My parents are coming into town this weekend so I might get some new clothes!

Sleep: I wake up several times a night, but I don't always have to pee. Sunday night I woke up at 3 am to puke my guts out. I'd rather pee, but I know I'm not getting much water down since I'm so sick all the time. I really need to be better about staying hydrated.

Best moment(s) of the week: We got our new King-sized bed on Saturday so it's been really nice to sleep on that :) I did receive two mother's day/parenthood cards and they were so sweet! Having my "first" mother's day that I was able to smile through. Last, but certainly not least, spreading the word around church and the extended family! Nothing on facebook yet, but it'll come in time :)

Movement: My books tell me baby is moving, but I can't feel it just yet!

Food cravings/aversions: My aversions are starting to grow: pork, mac & cheese (that's new), peanuts, peanut butter, strawberries, all mexican food, spinach, anything creamy. My craving this week was mostly Cocoa Pebbles and popcorn. Other than that, I'm mostly afraid to eat :-/

Morning sickness: Ever since Monday, I have now thrown up 15 times. I was prescribed some dissolvable Zofran tablets, and now I've discovered that I need to take one table at lunch everyday if I want to keep any food down. I will sometimes dry heave in the morning, but that's not always a given. I'm pretty sick these days, but I know it's temporary and it will be worth it :)

Symptoms: Constant sickness, tired, gassy (sorry Phil!), sore/heavy boobs, and bossy/irritated due to hormones (is that you laughing mom? I promise it's hormones!)

Labor signs: none

Belly button in or out: in

What I miss: Mostly just not being scared to eat. Other than that, I'm still over the moon and thankful for the blessing :)

What I'm looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat! I have an appointment on the 17th, but I think that's just blood tests and stuff. My other appointment is the 27th with my doctor. Hopefully it'll be one of those appointments! Also, I'm totally ready for the second trimester! June 6th - get a move on!


Friday, May 6, 2011

Fabulous Friday



It's another Fabulous Friday! Link up with Laura!


{via me}
First and foremost, my fabulous husband :) He's been keeping up with my crazy food cravings, my random mood swings and my, pardon me for the tmi, gas! HAHA I love him so much!

{via}
Second, Sex and the City on DVD. I've been lying in bed and watching from episode one. It's hard not to fall in love with this show every time I watch!

{via}
Third, Mac and Cheese. If nothing else, this is what I can eat.

{via}
Fourth, my miracle drug. Without this, I don't think I'd make it through Annette's wedding in 2 weeks.

{via me}
And finally, Sandals. I keep thinking about our honeymoon to Jamaica and I want to go back SO badly. So much so that I have been on the website two days in a row, just browsing. 2013 won't get here fast enough! (We're hoping to go for our 5th anniversary)

Happy Friday y'all!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Then Sings My Soul...

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Something I always have to explain to people is the fact that I am not what I consider "super religious". Let me explain that. I do not have any part of the bible memorized. I don't know where to find certain passages without help or an index. I do not get into religious debates with people unless I know we will both come out challenged instead of wounded. I do not pray every single day, (granted that's what I'm working on this year, but it's still a work in progress). I do not read the bible on my own.

I do, however, lean on God for advice. I do believe He is my Savior and loves every part of me. I do believe that I am an imperfect human being who is completely unworthy of God's grace, forgiveness, and mercy. I have done nothing to deserve His sacrifice. However, he freely gives and for that I am ever so thankful.

Coming to this conclusion is not something that was drilled into my head from day 1. Even having one, (or both in my case), parent as a pastor does not guarantee your faith. I can go "beep beep" and stand in a garage and say I'm a car, but I'm not. Same thing with being a Christian.

I rarely went to my parents for spiritual advice growing up. Partially because I was unsure how easily they could switch from parent mode to pastor mode. I found it easier to just avoid the subject and explored faith on my own. It did help to have such a supportive church family.

As I got to my senior year of high school, I still didn't pray that often. I didn't read the bible, though I had my own if I chose to. I did believe in God and knew he was taking care of me. I was a full member of my church, and even started to take on a leadership role as a youth elder. I felt like my faith was pretty solid, even though I look back now and see just how shallow it truly was.

Once I got to college, I met Phil. He was a different denomination than I was, but we believed basically the same things and I had friends in the past that went to the same type of church. However, his faith was in a completely different place. He knew bible verses. He knew names and stories that I still get mixed up. He prayed more than I did. He was more open about talking with others than I was. This was never, (and still is not), an issue in our relationship to have one person be a little more open about their faith than the other.

For most of our relationship, that's how we functioned. Phil was the more openly faithful and I was the quiet servant.  That changed.

Shortly after having a really early miscarriage in June of 2009, I was absolutely lost. In just one year I had gotten married, moved in with a boy/out of my parent's home for good, my parents moved across the country, I transferred schools, had to handle my parents' home until it sold, and I lost a child. I was so angry with God. I am not entirely proud of this, but I just couldn't stand the thought of having to go through so much in such little time. I actually had a tantrum where I could not stop crying, I couldn't breathe, and my face was on fire. I was pounding on the wall of my bedroom while sitting on the bed and just screaming. "This isn't fair! I make plan after plan and nothing works out. God's just a big bully who comes into my room, breaks all my stuff and tells me it's a lesson I need to learn. Why? Why is He being so hard on me? Why do I have to be the one who goes through everything the hard way? I'm tired of building character!" Phil and to literally grab my arms and hold me down so I could breathe normal again. Even when I had a problem with alcohol a few years before, I still consider this the lowest point of my life. I have never acted like that in my life.

For a few months, I just ignored God. I still went to church because I was in the choir, but I never really paid attention.

Finally, after several months of being angry, I went on a retreat with my youth group. A retreat I had been to so many times before. It was a camp ground in the middle of nowhere, but it always seems to bring me peace. At one point, when I was by myself, I finally decided I was done. I was so tired of being angry all the time. It was putting such a heavy load on my heart that I just didn't want. I didn't want to be that bitter person. I made the decision, then and there, to let it go, (slowly), and stop being angry.

I started listening to more Christian radio. I tried reading the bible in one year. (I got through the Old Testament, but not the New.) I made the decision to trust in God. I wanted to "know", just like my word for the year. I wanted to be a better at praying. I've been working on my relationship with the God who loves me still, no matter how many hurtful words I say to him.

The interesting thing about this transformation for me is the fact that Phil seemed to slowly stop. He does still know his stuff, but he's not always actively reading the bible. He's not always praying. I'm not saying Phil's desire slightly diminishing is a good or bad thing. I mostly just wanted to point out how we seemed to have switched from our original roles.

With my history of not being overly public about my faith, I sometimes find it hard to even talk to Phil about certain things. We have gotten into several theological discussions, but there are some things I just have to work up my nerve to bring up. The funny thing is, it's not that big of a deal. I wish I felt more at ease asking him.

Ever since I found out that our pregnancy was not tubal and looked good, I decided I wanted to thank God every single day for the joy and honor of carrying this precious gift. It is such a big deal to me! However, because I'm still working on it, I haven't been really consistent with this. So I had to work up my nerve to ask Phil if he's prayed about the baby. He replied with "A little bit, why?". I asked him if he'd be willing to pray with me every night before bed to thank God for our gift and ask that we can have the privilege to carry baby to term and for the guidance to bring up the child to know and seek God. He of course agreed :)

It's hard for me to act like I'm a good Christian every single day. I know for a fact that I'm not. However, not matter what place we are in our faith journey, I find such peace in knowing that I have Phil to pray with me when I'm not sure how. The journey is far from over, but I know the journey will be worth it.

Since today is National Day of Prayer, I found it fitting to share a piece of my faith.

Have a blessed day!

Because it gives me goosebumps every time, if you have not seen this video, please click on the song title to see Carrie Underwood just rock this song to the ground!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Nobody's Right If Everybody's Wrong...


{one} When was the last time you used a pay phone (if ever)?
If I remember this correctly, (and it's a little sad that I do), I believe it would have been in the hotel in San Antonio for the Alamo Bowl my senior year of high school, January 2004. I did have a cell phone, but decided to leave it at home because I didn't really have long-distance or texting. I called my folks to tell them how things were going. 



If that's incorrect, than the last time would have been summer of 2001 when I was staying at a state college for a choir retreat, again to call my parents, (can you tell we're close?). It was a week long camp that taught you the 3 audition pieces of all-state choir tryouts in the fall. At the end of the week, we held a concert. Funny side note, the year I did that special camp was the one year in high school I did not make All-State. Hmm....

{two} Did you ever fail a subject in school?
Never in high school, but I did in college. That's what happens when you stop showing up to class. Though I did get close fall of my junior year. I had a rough start to the year, (first break-up, brother moving to LA for college, etc.).

{three} Where do you go to get your favorite hamburger/cheeseburger?
Honestly? Burger night at my parents :) We layout all the condiments and I can make it exactly like I like it - beef seasoned with worcester sauce and season-all, cheese, pickles, ketchup and mustard on the top bun, and A1 sauce on the bottom bun. Yum!

{four} Have you ever served jury duty?
Nope, and sadly I kind of want to. (pleasedontjudgeme!)

{five} How old were you when you moved out of your parents' house?
I moved out for college in 2004, so 18. However, I would come back for the summer every year and then I lived with my mom for the year between TU and getting married. I officially moved out for good at 22 :)

{six} What is your favorite color to wear?
Pink, yellow, or black. I have lots of blue in my closet, but don't be fooled.

{seven} Do you have a pair of shoes that you wear all the time?
I have a pair that I wear more consistently - it was my red Toms, but now I'm back to my old New Balance sneakers (I need new sneakers).

{eight} Do you enjoy talk radio?
The only talk radio I enjoy is Car Talk. My mom and I would listen to it on car trips if I was going with her to an out of town meeting on Saturday mornings. Ahh... the good old days :)

{nine} If you could turn one unhealthy food into a healthy one, what food would it be?
Eggs Benedict. I LOVE it, but the hollandaise sauce especially is SO bad for you.

{ten} Who is the best speaker you've ever heard in person?
Oh man, I don't even know. I've heard some good speeches, but never a "best speaker". 



I'm so glad it's wee bit Wednesday since I really have nothing exciting going on in my life. I wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, fight off nausea, go to bed, repeat. I did, however, have a slight breakthrough yesterday! The doctor's office called to confirm that they do want me to continue my Metformin, (which I had a feeling since I asked about it at my annual exam in February), and asked how I was feeling. Once I told her the Phenergan cream was not working, she prescribed some dissolvable Zofran tablets! I only got 12 and insurance only covers the first round, (it's $96 out of pocket!), but it worked! I was able to eat dinner without even dry heaving! I'm going to save them as much as possible, especially since I want some around for Annette's wedding weekend.


The only other exciting news is I get to see my parents in 8 days! They're coming for Phil's graduation and I'm so happy I get to see them :D


Hope y'all are having a great Wednesday!

"For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield from Buffalo Springfield 
(heard this on Pandora today and remembered how much I like it!)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Hold You Forever In The Middle Of My Heart...

{via}
I do want to apologize for starting my new blog and then not posting very often. I've had lots of things come to the surface and now I can finally let them all off my chest. Hang on kids, this post is going to be a doozie!

First and foremost, Phil will be walking for his graduation on May 13th!! He won't be officially done yet, but we figured doing it 2 months early would mean more than waiting 10 months. You see, at OU, if you are a Ph.D. graduate, they only do the hooding ceremony in May. Phil is on course to defend in late June, early July! With that being the case, he didn't want to wait that long to be hooded so he's opting to go through the ceremony. I am so very proud of him! Even though it seems like he will never get his dissertation done, he's really close and I know he can do it :)

Secondly, we are all settled into the new apartment. We went bed shopping and will be the proud owners of a really comfy king sized bed next week! Once we get the mattress, we'll move our queen size bed into our guest room. That room is pretty tiny, but the bed will fit and that's all that matters!

Third, we have some news on Phil's job front. He is still applying everywhere he can, but he hasn't been getting many interviews. We think part of the problem is, even though he has 3 papers written, none of them have actually been published just yet. He's getting a little down about it, but he knows it's just temporary. We're still talking about moving somewhere out of state, but regardless of what job Phil gets, I won't allow us to move until January of 2012. For this reason...



That's right! I am 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant!! I'm due on December 13, 2011 :D

I took a pregnancy test early in the day of 4/1, and it looked negative. I went about my day feeling stupid and broken-hearted. After dinner, I decided to throw the test away. When I picked it up, I swore I saw a very very faint line. Phil couldn't see anything so he told me to take another test on Sunday morning. When I did, even he could see a faint line! I went to the doctor on 4/4 and my hcg was at 81. By Wednesday, 4/6, it jumped to 203! I went for an ultrasound on 4/14 to make sure baby was in the right place and not a tube and it looked good! However, with it being so early, we didn't see the baby. I had my second ultrasound this morning and, even though we didn't hear the heartbeat, we saw the flicker and the technician told us it was a health 170 bpm :) For the past 2 weeks, I've been feeling super awful. I've thrown up more than I have my entire life, but it's worth it :) I will tell you what I've tried and if there's anything you can think of that could help, I will take ANY and all advice on making me feel a little better!

Preggie Pops - nothing
Ginger Chews - made me gag
Ginger Snap cookies - nothing
Phenergan cream - nothing
Ginger Ale - nothing
Eating and drinking separately - nothing



Already have the picture framed!

Told you I had a good reason for being gone ;)

Have a lovely Monday y'all!

"Baby Don't You Cry (The Pie Song)" by Quincy Coleman and Andrew Hollander from Waitress (Music from the Motion Picture)

But I Know What It Feels Like

This post is going to be awfully vulnerable and hard for me, but I really want to finally say it out loud. I got permission for my daughter ...