Saturday, August 3, 2013

All You Mamas Out There

{Excuse the old (circa 2007) picture of me. It's the only one I could find that fit what I was doing ;)}

This post is asking for any and all advice you've got. I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind my mind on a billion different things right now. I thought it would be best to go to the sources I trust, you gals :)

Are you a mom to one babe? 
Is there anything you wish people told you before your bundle came into the world?
If you could change one thing about your birth experience, registry experience, or experience as a mom, what would it be and why?
Is there any baby gear people told you to get that you didn't use/baby didn't like?
Did/Do you feel immense pressure about every decision you had/have to make for your baby?
Would you consider having another baby in the next 2-5 years? Why or why not?

Are you a mom to two or more?
What are some of the baby items you thought you had to have and never used/baby #2 (3, 4, etc) didn't like?
Did you feel like you had most of the baby gear you needed and therefore did not need to buy more than clothes for your second baby?
What is the hardest part of being a mom to multiple kids?
If you could offer one piece of advice to a mom with #2 on the way, what would you tell them?
Do you feel more at ease after having one baby before?
If you have two, would you consider having another baby in the next 2-5 years? Why or why not?
Is it really possible to have 10-15 minutes of time alone during the day, or do you need to wait until the babes are asleep?

Any and all advice is appreciated :) Thanks ladies!

10 comments:

  1. Is there anything you wish people told you before your bundle came into the world?
    No, but there are a lot of things I wish people DIDN’T tell me.

    If you could change one thing about your birth experience, registry experience, or experience as a mom, what would it be and why?
    This might not be the kind of answer you are looking for, but I think I need to set the camera down more and just experience motherhood with my own eyes. I love all the pictures I have of Parker and they will help me to remember these days, but I can a bit carried away sometimes.

    Is there any baby gear people told you to get that you didn't use/baby didn't like?
    I didn’t get either of these, but was told I should. I did the research and decided it wasn’t for us. Wipe warmer: If a baby gets used to warm wipes they may get upset by cold/room temp ones. Just get ‘em used to cold ones! Bottle sanitizer/dryer/rack: This one seemed a bit of overkill. I washed my bottles by hand with hot water and soap. We dried them with a dish towel. Worked for us!

    Did/Do you feel immense pressure about every decision you had/have to make for your baby?
    No, should I? Sometimes I wonder if I am a good mom because I don’t freak out about stuff like that.

    Would you consider having another baby in the next 2-5 years? Why or why not?
    Absolutely! I am excited to have another baby. I have hard core baby fever now! We are just waiting to see what kind of time and financial resources we made need to give Parker everything possible.

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    1. Thank you so much for your reply!

      1) I agree with the "wish people DIDN'T tell me." I feel like I keep hearing all the awful things that come with babies, and baby boys, instead of the good things :-/

      2) I actually love this comment! I agree whole-heartedly. Sometimes I feel like I have tons of pictures of Jill, but not as many memories. I prefer memories to tons of photos.

      3) Heard about both of those too, but felt they were unnecessary. Glad to know you didn't miss them!

      4) I think it just goes back to the mommy wars that seems to be going on. I feel big pressure to choose the right formula, the right diapers, etc. I'm all for clean/green living, but not to the point where I have to second guess every product/decision I choose/make.

      5) I understand about the resources thing. I hope y'all do have another because I know they'll be just as awesome as Parker :)

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  2. I am a mom to a 2 year old and a baby due in December

    Is there anything you wish people told you before your bundle came into the world?
    No one really told me anything unless I asked a specific question and I'm grateful for that. I wasn't getting unwanted advise, I may not have followed every ones advise to my questions....it just helped me have a place to start.

    If you could change one thing about your birth experience, registry experience, or experience as a mom, what would it be and why?
    Like my mom said this weekend, hindsight is 20/20. I'm not sure I could have changed anything because it was my first. This time around I just feel more knowledgeable about my body because of my experience. I feel like I 'know' what questions to ask in the weeks/months ahead, but it's because they apply to me specifically. We didn't even take a birthing class with my first, that's also because she came too early. People are shocked, but it worked out for us since I had an amazing birthing nurse. However, I had no idea what to expect after M was born. Then again, it wouldn't have mattered because it wasn't a typical situation.

    Is there any baby gear people told you to get that you didn't use/baby didn't like?
    M didn't like the travel swing we had for her or the bassinet. We ended up buying a Rock n Play our of desperation one night. We also ended up buying a full size swing that we used for a few months when she was 5 months old. Otherwise we had the bare minimum for her....what I considered the 'basics.'

    Did/Do you feel immense pressure about every decision you had/have to make for your baby?
    Not really. I did what I felt was best for her and myself. As long as we were happy, I didn't really care who agreed or disagreed with what I was doing. I also have an amazing group or family/friends who as long as M is happy/healthy don't question us/give opinions.

    Would you consider having another baby in the next 2-5 years? Why or why not?
    No because after this December baby we are done. We are a 2 and done family. :)


    AND, even though I'm not officially a mom of two....we need everything for this baby. Gear/clothes/supplies. We live in an apartment and have moved states since M was born and got rid of EVERYTHING we had for M, minus the carseat. Plus we are having a boy and M is a girl....so clothes are a must. Also, I feel pretty at ease with having another baby since I've had one. I didn't have help when M was born, other circumstances kept my mom from being able to help. This time is different and I KNOW my mom will be by everyday she can be to help. If anything give me a chance to take a shower. :o)

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    1. Thank you so much for your reply! I really enjoyed reading it :)

      1) I agree with this completely! I got some unsolicited advice, but I tried to use it if I felt it was necessary for my particular situation.

      2) I'm glad you had a great nurse that helped you through birth! Having a baby early sounds hard, especially as a FTM. You're officially my hero :)

      4) I'm so glad! I think I just feel like people judge my decisions, so I just don't mention it unless they ask. Even if they ask, I potentially answer with "We're still thinking about it" if I don't think it's their business.

      Thanks again for your reply!

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  3. Are you a mom to two or more?
    Kyla will be 5 in 2 weeks and Kara will be 1 in September.

    What are some of the baby items you thought you had to have and never used/baby #2 (3, 4, etc) didn't like?
    Baby #2 didn't care for the pack n' play bassinet like #1 did. I used that in our room for the first 6-8 weeks with both babies and #2 wanted to be held or in a swing/bouncer, but #1 loved it.

    Did you feel like you had most of the baby gear you needed and therefore did not need to buy more than clothes for your second baby?
    We had 2 girls and I had kept 98% of the clothing from our first, so even though we did get some new clothing, we mostly had everything. Although, before #2 was born and I was getting things out, I donated more things rather than keep them.

    What is the hardest part of being a mom to multiple kids?
    The hardest part is probably making sure I get alone time or time with my husband. Dropping off 1 baby to a babysitter is easy, but trying to do that with a toddler and infant is much harder. Even though family says they don't mind, I tell myself that I don't want to burden them since it's hard for me, I wouldn't want to do that to someone else! The other hard part is breastfeeding #2 with #1 around, especially if we are by ourselves. Just as you sit down to feed #2, #1 magically needs something and you can't really do anything about it. And, when they are newborns, they eat for forever so it's really hard to get #1 used to not getting something right away. I almost bought myself the "My Breastfriend" nursing pillow like the mom on 19 kids and counting...lol.

    If you could offer one piece of advice to a mom with #2 on the way, what would you tell them?
    Tag team. That is the best way to get things done for a while until your family becomes familiar with being a family of 4. Also, it might take about 6 months, but it really does get easier. Just like it took a while after #1 was born to get used to things and a routine set, etc., same thing goes with #2, just throw in a toddler that already has a routine and you will probably feel completely crazy. But, I promise, it does get easier. :)
    Do you feel more at ease after having one baby before?
    I felt SO MUCH more confident during my delivery with #2. It was like night and day. Not that the delivery with #1 was bad, it was relatively easy, I just had that confidence that I knew how I was supposed to feel, what to expect afterwards, etc. Just in my mind, it was so much better.

    If you have two, would you consider having another baby in the next 2-5 years? Why or why not?
    Probably no more for us, we just moved and live in a 2 bedroom house while we save money to build, so unless we just get a crazy hair in a few years, we are probably done.

    Is it really possible to have 10-15 minutes of time alone during the day, or do you need to wait until the babes are asleep?
    Pretty much no alone time unless the babies are asleep. When #2 is an infant it is a little easier if #1 is napping or with daddy, but I am a firm believer of about 8:30 bedtimes so I can get at least an hour or so of alone time/couple time before bed.

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    1. Thank you so much for your reply!

      I would feel the same way if I had family in town. It's not really easy to find sitters that are comfortable with two that young. I also know another mother who's toddler would act out during breastfeeding times because they knew the mom would be busy. I'm hoping that's not true for Jill :-/

      Thank you for the reassurance. I think I'll just have to keep in mind that it's more important to find what works best than it is to find it quickly. Also, it's good to know that delivery won't be as worrisome :)

      Again, thank you very much for your answers! I definitely enjoyed reading them!

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  4. Are you a mom to one babe? YEP :)

    Is there anything you wish people told you before your bundle came into the world? I actually got a lot of really solid advice, and I was grateful for all of it. The one thing I'd say is that I wish people would have told me to spend less time researching gear, cause I haven't used a lot of the things I bought. But I was all "MUST BUY ALL THE THINGS" cause there is a lot of awesome baby gear out there ;)! Also, research c-sections as I ended up having to have one, even though I really didn't think I would need one.

    If you could change one thing about your birth experience, registry experience, or experience as a mom, what would it be and why? Birth experience: Well I had to be medically induced, but otherwise I would have loved to go into labor naturally. However, the c-section wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it could be. Registry experience: Amazon.com is by far the easiest place to register, as you can add stuff from other sites to your registry. I tried a couple of other places (which I would have changed if I could, cause it was a time suck), but nothing compared to Amazon. So I always recommend it to people! Experience as a mom: Nope, wouldn't change a thing :)

    Is there any baby gear people told you to get that you didn't use/baby didn't like? Pacifiers (he hates them), bottles (ditto), his crib (we bedshare/cosleep) though we might sidecar it to our bed soon, bouncer & swing (though they are good for containing the baby, he never really liked them all THAT much).

    Did/Do you feel immense pressure about every decision you had/have to make for your baby? Yes and no. I feel that I have a pretty good sense of what's best for my child, and also I left certain things (circumcision mainly) up to him to decide when he's old enough. Why make more decisions than you HAVE to when you have no idea what your child will want when he/she is old enough to choose?

    Would you consider having another baby in the next 2-5 years? Why or why not? Probably we'll start trying for a second child in another year and a half maybe? We'll see! :)

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    1. Thanks for your reply love!

      1) I feel like the "baby industry" is getting as bad as the wedding industry. I feel like I have to have all this stuff, and there's no guarantee my baby will like it/use it/etc. I probably should research c-sections just in case that is necessary for us this time.

      2) I'm glad the c-section wasn't as bad as you thought! I would like to avoid cervadil at all costs so I'm hoping to go into labor naturally this time. Phil asked what I would do if David came ON Jill's birthday, and I told him not to joke about that ;)

      4) I think for me, I just feel pressure because of the mommy wars. I feel like, if I put any decision out there, someone somewhere thinks I'm an awful mother. Luckily, there is no one in my life that I truly trust that makes me feel like that. You know me though, I just hate feeling like people are judging my decisions. I makes me not want to say anything unless someone asks. I know the decisions I make are what's best for my child, and my family. I may not do everything perfectly, but I'm giving it my best!

      5) YAY!! You should have several more babies ;)

      Love you!
      xoxo

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    2. You're doing a fantastic job :) just wanted to let you know I believe that!

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    3. Thanks my love! I really appreciate hearing that :) Love you! xoxo

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