Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Oh, Your Collegiate Grief Has Left You...


{I DID IT!!!}

It's finally over. I even have all my grades in for the semester! Although I thoroughly disagree with my Business Ethics final, I got the grades I was expecting for the semester. 1 A, 2 Bs, and 1 C. I will not have to take one class next semester to make up for a poor grade. I am officially done :)

My recital when super well on Friday night. I had about 30 people attend and every single person told me what a wonderful job I did. I really was humbled by the amount of people that came and the lovely things they said. I do have video, but there are a few things I need to edit before I share. I will say it's one of the more tolerable recordings of my singing for me to sit through. I usually hate listening to myself because it sounds SO different from what I hear in my head.

After the recital, my parents, Phil's folks, my brother, and our friend Abbey went to Macaroni Grill for dinner. Considering I only had a dry bowl of cereal the whole day, I inhaled my food! It was really good and I had a great time. Here are the two pictures I have from that night.


{Phil, myself and my dad before it started}

{My amazing teacher, Catherine, and I before the recital}

The next morning, I had to be at school by 9 am because graduates traditionally march around campus before entering the field house for graduation. Well, with all the construction on campus and with it being super windy and COLD, it was cancelled. I did not get this memo until 20 minutes before graduation was supposed to start. Oh well. I walked across the stage like a pro and we had pizza and cake at the apartment afterwards. It was a really wonderful day and I realized just how blessed I truly am :) Here are a few photos!


{Phil and I after the ceremony}

{My family :)}

{The in-laws and myself! Hopefully their camera has a better picture}

{Abbey and myself :)}

{The card from my parents that says it all... Hot Damn & Hallelujah HAHA}

{My wonderful support group at the apartment}

My folks agreed to caravan with us up to Minnesota. Well, despite stopping overnight in KC with family, the roads and weather was still not really good on Monday morning. We decided to stay north of Des Moines, IA to give the workers enough time to clear up the roads. We dropped off the Jeep at a Goodyear place for some new tires we desperately needed and went to see "Yogi Bear". It was lots of fun to see! By the time we left yesterday morning, the roads were much better and we had a fairly easy time getting to my parents' house. I definitely have a white Christmas :)

Today, Phil and I have most of the day to ourselves. We slept in a bit, and now I'm relaxing while he does a little data analysis on his computer. After he's done, we'll get some lunch, go to Borders to redeem my gift card, (I got $50 from the in-laws as a graduation gift!), and to find some better shoes for Phil. We bought him some new sneakers back in January, but with them being around $20, we should have known we'd have to replace them. They are getting holes in the side so he's feet get soaking wet whenever we walk in snow.

Also, a quick shout out to our really good friends Carrie & Jon O.! Yesterday was their 4th wedding anniversary! Both Phil and I had the honor of being a part of their wedding party and they've truly become our closest married friends. They are some of the best people in the world and we are so happy for them. I try to get them a tradition wedding anniversary gift every year. Since the 4th anniversary is fruit & flowers, I thought an Edible Arrangement would be fun :) They did get it yesterday and I just know they'll love it! Love you two!! XOXO

Other than that, I'm just so happy to have this college thing over with! I don't know what they future holds for Phil and I, but I know we'll be surrounding by amazing family and friends who will support us no matter what :)

Peace to you,

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

You Can Ring My Bell...


{via}

This morning, Phil and I took a very special trip. You see, it is a tradition at the University of Tulsa to ring the school bell after you have taken your last final before graduation. Even though my degree will not be from that particular university, I felt I deserved to ring that bell. I was there for 3 years AND my current school is counting every. single. class. that I took from TU. If that's the case, then I deserve to ring that bell! Now, I do still have 1 more exam to take, but considering it's a 3 hour round trip, I figured this morning was close enough to the actual time :) Even though it was cold and windy, it was totally worth it.


I had kind of a rough day yesterday because my to-do list is so very long. I felt overwhelmed and thought I would have no chance of getting everything done that I wanted. So, after Phil *cough* volunteered *cough* to help out, things didn't seem so bad. I had a voice lesson and a coaching that went REALLY well. When I got home, Phil had picked up and vacuumed, as well as accomplished a few other things on the list :D That definitely made me feel much much better.

In celebration of things getting done and all, I thought I would share a few things today. First of all, this video, although Christmas-y, made me smile and I just love to watch it :)


Second, even though I explained I'm not in a Christmas mood just yet, one of my favorite parts of winter is snow. I love snow and snowflakes :)


{via}

The other day, Phil and I tried a new recipe from Alton Brown. We love Alton and his show "Good Eats" and this recipe looked really interesting. It's called Whole Pumpkin Pie Soup. It was SO good too! The fun part is eating it right out of the pumpkin :) Now, silly me, I added 4 oz of goat cheese instead of 2 like the recipe called for. Also, we don't have an immersion blender, so it wasn't as blended as Alton's version. However, it was still really good and definitely recommended. Here's a photo I snapped of the finished product!


Finally, here's a photo of our lights from the outside.


Hope y'all are having a great Wednesday!
Peace to you,

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

You've Got Garlic In Your Soul...


{via}


I've been dreading this post, hoping the subject would clear itself up. Unfortunately, nothing has changed...


Folks, it is now December 14th, around 1:20 p.m. in the afternoon. And I, Courtney, am not in a Christmas mood.

Let's clear a few things up. I usually love Christmas. It's not my favorite holiday, but I enjoy it every year. I usually look forward to the tree, the gift shopping/giving, cookie baking, holiday movie extravaganza that happens from December 1st until the day after Christmas. Phil and I even decorated the apartment for the holidays much earlier than usual, (we wait until December 8th so my dad's birthday is not overlooked).

For whatever reason... I'm just not feelin' it.

I avoid the all-Christmas-music stations. The holiday movies do not have the super warm-fuzzy-feeling effect they usually do. I even opted out of driving through some Christmas lights the other day because it was "too cold" outside. The thought of dealing with the general public makes me uneasy. I hate driving anywhere near the mall. I hate running errands, even Target runs! *gasp* It's almost like it's a chore to get through the next 12 days*.

*P.S. I had a girl at my final say that yesterday, December 13th, was the start of the 12 days of Christmas. Um... no it is not. The 12 days of Christmas starts on Christmas Day and goes until Epiphany, when the wise men made it to baby Jesus. I actually talked about this earlier in the year. It just bothered me and I didn't want to be the weird, know-it-all girl in class and kept my mouth shut.

Could it be that I'm finishing up school and just have too much on my plate? Am I scrooge this year? Am I Mrs. Grinch?

I am excited about giving my gifts. I can't wait to see people's faces when they open them :D I am excited about going to Minnesota, spending time with my folks and having a white Christmas. I am excited about seeing my in-laws and spending time with them. I'm even excited about the Christmas Eve service we'll go to.

Do you ever have years like that? Years that Christmas just isn't that exciting? Am I alone? Will my "Christmas spirit" appear out of nowhere and I'll be just like everyone else?

Peace to you,

Monday, December 13, 2010

So Close You Can Almost Taste It...


{via}
This has been my life for awhile...

Oh yeah, I totally went there.

So here I am, mere days until I am a college graduate. I have stressed out and cried more this last year about school and life than I think I ever have. Some days I didn't think I could make. Some days I nearly threw up my white underpants on a stick and surrendered. I wanted to make it all go away and start over.

Something,

something deep inside of me kept on pushing.

I remember that voice from before...

it has a little more wisdom and life experience in its tone now.

However, I recognized it every time...

it was me.

Pushing to finish. Knowing that I would regret it every single day if I gave up. Knowing I would be more disappointed in myself than I could ever imagine my family being. I always used them as an excuse, but this time I knew it was all for me. It's the voice that used to be around any time I set my mind to something. It just somehow started getting covered up by my voice of fear after I went off to college. Now, the fear is leaving and I hear the voice getting stronger every day.

The past two weeks have been nuts, but it was worth it.

I did my first final this morning and it wasn't too bad. I know I passed, but it would have been nice to know for sure that I answered the essay correctly. Oh well, no turning back now.

I'm in full swing with recital preparations as well. I still need to memorize my butt off, but I know it'll be good no matter what.

I can't WAIT to see my parents :) It's going to be so wonderful to see them and for them to celebrate with me as I showcase my voice AND finally finish my bachelor's. I can't wait to see the smile on my dad's face!

I still have some hard work ahead, but it's not too much and I know I can handle it. 1 500 word essay, 1 take-home final essay, 2 revisions and 1 written test (Shakespeare) before I'm home free. Once I'm done with all this stuff, I'll be updating much more often. I know you're excited ;) Plus, we're headed up to the cold tundra of Minnesota to be with my folks for Christmas! *singing* I'm dreaming, er getting, a whiiiiiiiiiite Christmas!

I made a play list after Thanksgiving to get me through the last few weeks as I finished up school. I hope you enjoy it as much as it has pumped me up :)

1. "The Final Countdown" by Europe (but of course!)
4. "This Year" by The Mountain Goats (theme song for the year like I said here)

*****
Phil and I exchanged gifts early because I knew I was going to get a video camera I requested so I could record my recital. Plus, the "big" gift I got him was so exciting for me, I knew I couldn't hold on to it for too long ;)

Not only did I get this beauty...

{via}
but the package he got came with a bag, an SD memory card AND a tripod! It's pretty cool :)

And I gave him this...


{via}
He was very happy to receive it.

p.s. On the Nook, I bought it from Best Buy online, got an super cool package that included a light and leather cover AND I could pick it up the same day in the store of my choosing. It was pretty awesome :)

*****
An important man in my life had a big day...

{via}
Happy Belated Birthday to my Daddy-O! I love you very much and I'm so happy you're in my life. LOVELOVELOVE

Peace to you,

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

This Christmas All Your Dreams Will Come True...


{via}
I am posting 3 videos and another poem today :) You'll understand why when you watch the last one. The first was a quick little one I did when Phil and I went to the Arkansas game on the 13th. Then I have a video of the players running through the A before the game (and yes, that is me singing the fight song in the background HAHA). I'll do another post this weekend with pictures from the game. I just need to get through this week...







Lines
The architect draws a line
Not an ordinary line
but a part of something bigger,
something greater
than what others could have dreamt of.
That’s why he’s the architect.
He draws another line.
The architect has friends,
but he doesn’t see them often
The life of an architect can be lonely
He’s the friend people call
to go for a cup of coffee
when they’re down
He’s also the fun drunk
who always smiles
no matter what was said
His friends miss him
but he just doesn’t have the time.
He barely had time in college.
The architect sleeps in the studio
to get things done
He draws another line.
The architect is single.
He has family that he cares about,
but none of them live close by
The architect has tried dating,
but thinks the female race can never understand his work,
like a mistress.
It demands more time from him than he expects
He draws another line.
The architect is quiet,
but he says something meaningful
His heart is architecture
As a child he drew
comics starring “Carrot Man”
with the villains being the vegetables he hated
Following junior high, he could be found
drawing models of baseball stadiums
He’s not designing ballparks like he dreams,
but he’s still young
We must all pay our dues.
He draws another line.
Line
after line
after line
placed intricately on the page.
Finished.
His boss smiles
it is ahead of schedule
the architect knows he’s done well today
He jumps on his bike as he heads home for the evening
The economy is bad,
as is the job market,
but hope is alive.
The architect rides home
as the sun starts to set.

Peace to you,

"Twist of the Magi" by SHeDAISY and Rascal Flatts

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I Could Offer You A Warm Embrace...


If you follow me on Twitter, you noticed that I announced today would be hard for me. Hard because of a decision Phil and I have made that I'm not 100% sold on.

You see, back in January, I announced that we had a new member of the household. Her name is Salem and she is the sweetest cat in the world. Well, I don't recall mentioning it on here, but a few months after we got her, {I'd say around May}, she started using the corners of our apartment as her private liter box. Ok, that's not cool! So we bought special cleaner, watched her like a hawk, putting her in the bathroom with a liter box/food/water overnight, and she stopped. In that particular corner. She moved to a new corner, and then just under our bar stools, and then next to the liter box. Here's the main problem, she does it sporadically enough that, when we think she's got it out of her system, she'll do it again.

A few months ago, we took Petey to the vet because he had something wrong with his eye. While we were there, we mention to the vet what's been happening. First of all, he said they have more people complain about this who own fixed, female cats. Most people assume it's just young males, but that's not the case. The vet told us there is only one "trick", {and I use that term loosely}, to see what's going on. Essentially, cats don't always like to be in a large group. Sharing may be her problem, not pristinely clean liter could be the problem, or she could just be an outdoor cat. After the visit, we're tried out best to keep it as clean as we can. We even box a third liter box to see if that would help.

No such luck.

After Salem pooped on the floor while we finished breakfast yesterday, we knew we needed to do something.

Here's where it gets hard for me. Sure, I've had outdoor pets before. However, this was due to my family adopting strays, or in some cases, strays adopting us. We had our indoor dog, Candy, for a long time, and never had strictly outdoor pets after we moved to Oklahoma. We certainly never adopted a pet, made them indoor, then dubbed them an outdoor pet. Being the animal lover I am, I keep picturing Salem outside... cold, lonely.... sad, unable to defend herself (she's declawed).... missing us. It absolutely breaks my heart. However, what hurts even worse is thinking about putting her back in the shelter system or just giving her up period. I love her so much! Phil had an outdoor dog most of his life so he's not too worried. I did get him to agree to building a "shelter" of some sorts. So after talking with my mama, and Phil, we decided to get her a new collar and tag with our contact info and test the waters. I am only ok with doing this at our current apartment because we have a fenced in patio area. It's small, but she seems to enjoy being out there most of the time. I chickened out and asked to skip last night and try it for the day today. However, it started misting this morning, {of course!}, so she started to "mew" outside the door. Phil let her in and forgot to put her back out before he left the apartment this morning. My mama did warn me that, whenever we do move, she may not want to leave and I need to be prepared for that :( She said it's like having children: you have certain rules, but if your child is clearly not happy, you need to fix the situation so they are. My mama is a wise lady :)

Am I just over-reacting? Am I being too soft? Do you think she'll be ok?

That's why I'm so "on-edge" today. I'm just worried about my little SaySay. Gotta let my baby take her wings and fly... as long as it's not over the fence HAHA

With that being said, here's my poem for today...
{And just for an FYI, I'm not a smoker. I just tried to put myself in that character. No new bad habit here!}

Weekender
The rising and falling
of her chest
as she inhales one more time

Swirling smoke suffocating
the sunroom
casting shadows in the rays of sun

Warmth overcomes her
She closes her eyes
The only time darkness comforts

The wind picks up
her hair
and tosses it with the salty taste of humidity

Expectation melting
drop by drop
running down her stream of consciousness

She is reminded
of why she is here
and where she came from

To escape?
To dream?

Peace to you,

"To Make You Feel My Love" by Adele

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

He Was Showing His Love...

{via}


Working hard to get back in the swing of things. Work is going well, but I'm behind on my reading again. {This tune sounds awfully familiar...} I have a test in my Shakespeare class and more reading to accomplish. However, there are two things I am happy/looking forward to.

1) I've been going on wedding hyper-drive for Annette. I know she can get overwhelmed so I've condensed my questions to 1 per day max. Of course, I did email her 6 final ones to keep me going for now. It's nice to have something to plan for/work on for after graduation. It would be depressing if all I had was work. It's going to be a wonderful wedding!

2) Phil and I are going to the Arkansas game in Fayetteville on Saturday!!! I canNOT wait to go :D WOOOO PIG SOOIE!!! I will take the camera and take lots of photos :)

Now I will share my next poem. This is about a very special man in my life, (I am blessed to have so many!). Try to guess who it is!


Hands
His hands are as soft as Bounty paper towels,
the light white hairs are merely wisps
that do not cover his freckles.

His work does not require hard labor
he has no calluses on his palms,
though you will find some on his fingertips.

His hands are usually clasped in prayer,
strong enough to give strength to those who need it,
yet soft enough to comfort.

These hands have clapped in excitement of a well played ball game,
held strong the hand of his only daughter as he gave her away,
and clenched in anger when no one would listen.

A man’s personality can be seen by his actions,
this man’s soul can be seen through his hands,
his strong and loving hands.


Peace to you,
"The Hand Song" by Nickel Creek

p.s. A little LOLcat to make you smile. We're halfway to the weekend!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I'd Write The Ending Without Any Sorrow...


{via}

With very little having happened to me since returning to the "Real World - Last Semester of College", I decided to show off some of my recent work for creative writing. I am taking a creative writing course where we were asked to write 5 pages worth of poetry. I don't feel completely comfortable publishing one of the one here just yet, so I'm going to share them over the next few days. There are six total, but I'll post two today since they are short. If you like them, great! Tell me about it! If you don't... it's ok too :) Just don't be really mean/rude about it please and thank you!

Without further ado...

Reflection
Overlooked by many.
Used by the vain for shallow reasons.
Blamed for accidents.
Sometimes lost.
Sometimes held together by shiny silver duck tape.
CAUTION!
Objects are indeed closer
than they appear.

Techno Barf
When your personal business becomes the latest gossip.
To make a grammatical mistake that 87 people tell you about.
Where 20 other people share your original thoughts and problems.
Having your musical tastes questioned by people who only listen to Justin Bieber.
It’s enough to make me hurl.
blog.

Happy Tuesday!
Peace to you,

"Wrapped Up In Books" by Belle & Sebastian

Monday, November 8, 2010

But You'll See The Bigger Picture...


{via}

I don't believe I mentioned this in my last post so I'll say it now. {Thank you capt'n obvious...}
I was gone from Wednesday afternoon until last night for a little something I love to call O.I.L. {not oil...}. I know I've discussed my love for this organization and what it stands for. I did, however, do something special this time. I officially retired. This may seem a little silly to you, but it was hard for me to admit it was time to go. It's nice because it means I'm officially done with school. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be retiring from this amazing organization. And you know what, I had the best time I EVER have because I just had fun. I made more motions, announcements, etc. I even told several jokes I would only whisper to Annette in the car after the day's work was done and we were alone. I got close to lots of people and I finally didn't have to re-meet as many people (which was VERY nice). O.I.L. and it's delegates have touched my life in so many ways and I am truly thankful to be apart of it for as long as I have. However, something else changed my life during session in a very, very different way.

On Saturday night, we always have a Governor's Ball. Depending on the people in charge, it can range from hotel party to classy evening. This year, it was classy evening. We had a wonderful three course dinner at the Jim Thorpe building just a few miles north of the capitol. After dinner and two speakers, we had a DJ help us dance for a few hours. {Some of us had a meeting at 12:30} Well, around 11pm, Annette and I decided to go ahead and head towards the hotel. After we get in the car, Annette told she needed to get cash, something at Walgreen's and gas. No prob. Instead of heading north to the hotel, we drove south to a local ATM that was opened 24 hours. After we got the money, we started to leave the parking lot. {I need to point out that the street we were going to turn onto was a 6-lane street with concrete dividers, minus the few places opened to turn left.} As Annette started to pull forward, I asked her to wait a second. Three cars were about to go by and the front car was driving a little fast. Annette replied with "You're right" and waited. After I murmured "What's the rush?", the front car started to speed up more, slid sideways, hit a pole, spun in the air, and finally rolled over a few times before it stopped on its side a building away from where it hit the pole. Annette promptly told me to call 911 as she started to drive towards the accident. I told the operator where we were, what the car looked like and that the victim needed an ambulance. As we got to the car, we noticed the other two cars originally driving behind the now crumpled car had all stopped and walked towards the car. Annette rolled her window down and asked "Do you know her?" to the people outside the car. After they say no, Annette told them to talk to her and to not move her for any reason. Annette instructed me to stay in the car while she helped, rolled down the car windows and walked towards the car. Within 5 minutes, two cops, an ambulance, and two fire trucks got to the scene.

Disclaimer::Because I was not there directly, the following information was provided by Annette.

Apparently the woman looked like she was in her 30's and she was just barely awake. The people who had stopped did not know her and in fact were hurting more than helping. When Annette asked if they were talking to her, they responded with "We did" and proceeded to talk amongst themselves and/or on their cell phones. In their defense, the cell phones could have been to call 911, but I don't know for sure. Annette told them to move and continued to say things to the woman to keep her awake. She never said her name, but I don't know if I'd remember my name after everything that woman went through in 5 seconds. There was blood all over the crumpled windshield and airbag, but it was dark and Annette couldn't tell how badly she was hurt. However, that is technically none of our business. Once the cop got to the scene, he asked what happened and the group started to shout over each other or amongst themselves yet again. Annette told him we witnessed it from the bank across the street and told him exactly what we saw. After they finished, he noticed she was in party clothes and asked why we stopped. Annette replied with, "Well, my mom is a doctor and always told me that she never leaves the scene of an emergency until she is dismissed." The cop smiled, thanked her for her honesty, and dismissed her. Around the time she walked towards me to return to the car, I noticed the firefighters bringing the jaws of life to the accident scene. I think deep down we were both just relieved that it was not a member of O.I.L.

As we drove away, we began to discuss how we both personally think this was the driver falling asleep at the wheel. Usually, when a driver is drunk, the car swerves quite a bit more. This driver suddenly accelerated before she swerved. I then admitted to Annette that, despite how selfish it would sound, I was so glad she didn't go ahead and turn left or else that woman would have hit us and we would have been involved in the accident. I don't know what happened to her, if she's still in the hospital, or what. If you pray, please keep this woman in your prayers (God knows who she is). If you don't pray, any happy thoughts are definitely appreciated. Phil checked online and the papers yesterday to see if it mentioned anything so hopefully it wasn't too bad.

Despite being so thankful that Annette and I were spared, I cannot seem to get the entire scene out of my head. I have seen the crash happen over and over again in my head and it's really starting to get to me. Part of why I froze, (and why I seem to freeze during any type of emergency), is because I have an extremely vivid imagination. I can picture cars crashing, and random things breaking to cause my ultimate demise hundreds of times every day. It's just my personality to do that. This means, when I actually see an emergency happening before my eyes, I cannot fathom that it's actually happening instead of it just being in my head. I may just need time to decompress after it, but it just really made me think of all the times my friends, and family have driven late at night with nothing happening to us. I truly feel like God has been watching out for me and clearly has big plans for me :)

Besides, He wouldn't kill me off before I graduated college. That would be oh so cruel...

So hug your loved ones and make good choices. It can all change in the beat of a heart.

Peace to you,
"Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson

But I Know What It Feels Like

This post is going to be awfully vulnerable and hard for me, but I really want to finally say it out loud. I got permission for my daughter ...