Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A Letter to My Two Children About Baseball

Dear Jillian and David,

I'm sure you've noticed something about your mother. Being nearly 3 and 1 year old children respectively, I'm not sure if you are aware, but I'm certain you've noticed. I don't have much to give you.

You see, your father and I got married while we were still in college. This caused us to live off student loans. Then, we got into some major credit card debt. We struggle to make ends meet, and we are living paycheck to paycheck.

Your mother has a short temper. Sure, we can blame it on the Irish roots, but deep down she just doesn't have a lot of patience on a daily basis.

We live in an area where the labels on clothes, and the probability that a party will end up on Pinterest or not, seems to take precedence over a child's happiness.

We spend most of our time at church. In fact, we are almost there as much as the pastor is. We don't have much free time to do things as a family, especially just hanging out together.

We don't live super close to any relatives. Even the ones that a pretty close by have their own stuff so we don't see them very often.

There are days where I feel like a fool. How could I possibly have thought I could be a good mother? We don't have the finances to do whatever we want. You don't get lots of time from us. You certainly don't get the kind of individual attention that I feel that you deserve. How are you going to grow up without any emotional scars thanks to my temper? And for your father and I to consider ever having more children? What are we, nuts?!

Then there are days like today.

And no, we didn't have the "perfect day" or anything like that.

Today is Game 1 of the World Series 2014.


Let's talk baseball for a moment.

You see, when I was little, I grew up in a home that was loyal to the Kansas City Royals. Why the Royals? Well, my father was born in KC, and your uncle and I were both born an hour north. Being a Royals fan as been a part of our family since your Gee-Chaz was a kid.

The last time the Royals went to postseason, let alone the World Series, was the fall of 1985. To put that into perspective, your Jemma was just in her 2nd trimester with me. I existed, but not out in the world.

For whatever reason, (and there are several my dear ones), we had a long spell of not being very good. During those 29 years in between postseason appearances, we didn't even have a winning season half of the time. Yes, being a Royals fan was hard. Even if we won, we never got mentions or any kind of respect from the sports channels.

With the Royals not doing very well, I started to resent sports. My dad and brother would be in their own world watching and talking sports. I hardly saw them during certain periods in the year, and I became quite bitter. I mean, the least they could do was cheer for a good team so they wouldn't be so sour when the TV was turned off.

When our family moved from Arkansas to Oklahoma in 1997, a few big things changed as well. One of those things was your Uncle Mikey. He literally stopped speaking. It took years to get more than a grunt, then single word out of him. He has come a long way since, and you should always listen when he speaks. {It's usually something worth hearing :)}

During those years, the only thing that kept our connection as a family was baseball. It was only my dad and brother for awhile, then my mom joined in. By my junior year of high school, (Uncle Mikey's freshman year of college), I realized that I can share in this connection if I accepted that spending time with my dad during a game was more fun than pouting on my own. It doesn't hurt that the Royals had a winning season for once!

When I first met your father, we started to talk about things we were interested in. One of the things we discussed was sports. Once I found our your dad liked baseball, I asked who his team was. When his reply was "The Royals," I knew this would be a good guy.

You see, I had decided long ago that a Royals fan would be a great guy to date. They would possess certain qualities that I admire: perseverance, determination, acceptance of disappointments, and down-to-earth. Yes sir, that would be a good guy to be with.

Thanks to the fact that many of my relatives still live in Kansas City, we went to a handful of home games while we dated. Since we've been married, we have attended 1 home game every single summer. In 2008, your Gee-Chaz and Jemma moved far away, then your Uncle Mikey moved far away in 2012, but we still had the Royals to talk about. We can even manage to get to a game and spend quality time with one another every so often.

Prior to this year, I could count on one hand the number of times that the Royals won while we were at the game. Your dad and I even changed the lyrics to a well-known song for giggles. "If they don't win, it's the same!" or "If they don't win..... meh."

So baseball is almost a family legacy for you. It is something that has always been a part of my life, and it's the one thing that kept my family together.


The year 2014 started off ok. Then I was diagnosed with post-partum depression. Then your daddy injured his knee and required surgery. Then your Gee-Chaz and Jemma had to move, (and still far away). Then we found out our financial situation needed to change before we got into some major trouble. I won't lie, 2014 has been pretty rough on us.

The baseball season started off in typical Royals fashion. We were hopeful, but tried to not get our hopes up. Then we were in first place in our division for a month. We figured that was the highlight of the season.

Suddenly, the Royals stayed in the running, and ended up in the wild-card game. I will admit that I prayed for most of those innings. It was the only shot we had to play in the month of October. I just wanted them to win so badly. Then we won the wild-card! There was no way this was happening! We would be playing in the postseason, and the family was estatic!!

Your Uncle Mikey bought tickets to Game 3 of the ALDS in Kansas City. Despite other plans, your dad and I made it work so that we could meet up with your Uncle Mikey, Jemma and Gee-Chaz. Not only did we see a heck of a game, but our boys won! Sweeping the A's, they would move on to the ALCS. After sweeping the Orioles, we are now in the World Series.

After every game, your Gee-Chaz and Uncle Mikey and I will text one another. It's been so much fun to stay in contact with them to cheer on our Royals.

Being a Royals fan is finally paying off. We are finally seeing them receive the respect and honor they so much deserve. And best of all, it has kept our family connect and full of hope. I love that God can use something like sports to keep families connected. He is an amazing God :)

All this to say, sweet babies, is that I can't give you much. We don't have tons of money, we don't travel the world, and sometimes mama isn't even that patient with you.

What I can give you is the legacy I was lucky enough to have.

You will always have your needs met. Your wants are another story.

You will always have my love. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing.

You will always have my support.

You will always have a church family that will do anything for you.

You will always see your parents striving to do God's work to His glory.

You will always see a spirit of hope, hard work, and dedication for as long as we are Royals fans.

You will always be a Royals fan. No use trying to resist. It's in your blood. ;)

I love you both with all my heart. I know I won't do this parenting thing perfectly, and I'm sure I'll be the reason for all your issues for many years. I pray that one day you will see that I was trying my best, and gave you all of myself. I also hope that one day we can cheer on the Royals as a family. Even if it takes another 30 years, I know one of the connections we will have is the Kansas City Royals.

Go Royals! #TakeTheCrown

Monday, October 13, 2014

Full Circle

Let's take a trip.

Way back to the very first day of the year, I started thinking about my verse and word for the year. I'll admit, I was a little sleep-deprived and all, so I was not making a huge effort. In the end, I picked a good word and verse that I felt satisfied with.

Funny enough, a few months later the choir at church sang a song where the lyrics were composed of that exact bible verse. I gave a little smile as we sang it to the congregation. Beyond that smile, I did not give the song much thought.

This year has definitely been tough on me. I've had a few things happen, and it's not always easy to see the big picture.

Fast forward to Saturday night.

We have been doing the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class at our church for the last 6 weeks. It has been very helpful, and we are finally starting to feel like we're getting a handle on things. Starting the class brought up a lot of pain and issues that Phil and I were not expecting to deal with. With God's help, we're working through it and getting a sense of hope again.

If you've never done FPU before, they give you a whole kit which includes a workbook. Within the workbook are various verses of the bible. I really like that Mr. Ramsey does this.

Saturday night was the first time Phil and I were able to catch up on a missed class. {The one where we skipped it to go to the Royals ALDS in Kansas City and it was totally worth it ;)} Now, because I'm the nerd of this couple, I was the one writing down things in our workbook. About halfway through the lesson, I peer in the side column to see no other than my verse for the year.

That's when it hit me. 

Even if I wasn't being fully intentional when I picked my verse, God was still using that verse to help me throughout the year. How amazing is that?! I still have a lot to learn, and there is still a lot of living left in 2014 for me to do. However, I now have the full confidence that God is with me, my verse of the year ready in His pocket, to help me through whatever is thrown at me.

God is my treasure, because that is where my heart lies :)

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Day 60 - Herbalife Check In

60 days ago, I started using Herbalife. Overall, I'm feeling really good about myself and my body. I'm really trying to do this right and not focus too much on numbers. I do feel a bit more energetic than before, (which is good because life is cray-cray right now), and I am starting to fit in my clothes better!

This month was a bit different for two reasons.

1) I had a pretty bad sprain on my back that kept me from working out for pretty much this entire month.

2) I actually stopped counting calories around Day 45 or so. I have been busy, and I tried just listening to my body more. Luckily for me, it's working pretty good! I'm able to kind of eye a good serving size, and I still weigh stuff out if I get worried about going calorie-wild.

My first reward was going to be a pedicure once I hit 15 pounds. Well, I did hit that goal, but I have to change my reward. I have to get a new blender because I've just used mine so much ;) {Poor little $15 didn't stand a chance...}

I have a few goals for the next 30 days, but I won't share them until my next check in so I don't jinx them!

Starting Weight: 239.8
Current Weight: 224.5  (15.3 lbs lost)

Inches Lost: 15

Starting Picture:


Current Picture:

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Just the Beginning for October

This last week has just been a complete whirlwind, and October is only going to get worse! I have a feeling I won't have many picture posts this month, but I'd like to at least write posts so that I can remember this crazy season in our lives.

I had my 10 year high school reunion this past weekend. {Say it ain't so!} My high school is actually just about 20ish minutes southeast of where we live, so we didn't have far to travel.

Friday night, we went to a tailgate and the football game. There were not many people at the tailgate, and we didn't run into many classmates in the stadium. However, we had a good time, and the kids did really well. I got to see the marching band, (color guard did pretty decently), and we were up 42-0 at halftime.

Saturday afternoon was a picnic at a local park. That went pretty smoothly too! I felt silly for being so nervous about it. Saturday night was the fancy dinner, and that had more people in attendance. Unfortunately, at the dinner, we had a few more groups who only stuck together and/or stayed at the bar. You know, even though it was more awkward than the rest of the activities we did, I still had a good time with the people I spoke with. All in all, I feel like it was a fun and successful reunion :)

Sunday, Phil and I had to sing in the choir for early service, taught high school Sunday school, then we jumped in the car and headed to KC! My brother was able to get 3 tickets to the ALDS in KC, so my brother flew into town, and my parents drove in the day before. We got to town just in time for Phil, my dad, and my brother to head to the game. It was an AMAZING game! We were able to watch at my cousins' house, and boy was that a blast :) Jillian loved playing with their little dogs, and David even crawled over to watch the game with all the guys.

Since the Royals swept the A's, we didn't have another game to watch on Monday night. We spent the day with my parents and brother, and that was great. We went to a local attraction with a petting zoo, then had some authentic KC barbeque. After a few relaxing moments, we headed to Tulsa to sleep at Phil's folks' place. The only downside to the trip is, I'm pretty sure the 4 of us got food poisoning at McDonald's and felt awful. Jillian is the last one to go through it, but it seems like she's on the mend as of today :)

Tuesday, we woke up and hurried down the turnpike just in time to drop off Jillian at preschool. {It also happened to be her day to bring a snack, so I actually made it ahead of time and left it at church! I am so glad I thought to do that}

Now we are just in the process of getting back into the swing of things. We have quite a few things to do this week, and every weekend has multiple activities this month. Like I said, October is crazy this year. Even though it's hectic, I know we'll be making lots of memories too. Hopefully I remember to take pictures so I can cherish these times :)

How's your October treating you?

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

David: {Ten Months}

David –

You are ten months old today! How are we already in double digits when talking about your age? I feel like we just celebrated your 6 month birthday! Oh let's face it, I feel like it was yesterday when you were born :)

According to our measurements at home, you are 18 lbs, 7 oz and 27-1/2 inches long.

You can wear a 3-6 Month button down shirt, but you are most comfortable in 6-9 Month, and 9 clothes. We have a few 12 Month onesies that you wear, but they are still pretty big on you. Hats or shoes are a big no for you. The moment we try to put them on, your hands are up and ready to pull the item off. You wear 6-9 Month pjs, but you may be ready for 9 Month. You wear size 4 diapers.

Eating is only hard for you in terms of you never seem full!. You are my bottomless pit, so I'm trying to give you anything I can. You seem to like Cheerios, Mum-Mums, Alpha Bits cereal, tomatoes, spaghetti, turkey meat, baked chicken, beans, broccoli, and rice cakes the best! On average, you drink four 6 oz bottles a day. You still have not had fish or honey, but thanks to your sister, you have had dairy, egg, strawberries, and peanut butter. {She would feed him some of her snack when I wasn't looking} Thankfully you have not had any reactions, so you do not seem to have any food allergies!

You sleep from 8:30 pm to 7 am most nights. For a few weeks, you would wake up about 4 am and cry for your pacifier. However, you are doing this less, which means you should be almost done with that phase. You usually get a nice big nap in the afternoon, but one small morning nap, and only if I hold you. There is a bit of crying when I put you down for you big nap, but you will settle down after awhile and sleep pretty well. Sometimes we are so busy, your naps are just whenever we are in the car. This will make you a little cranky, but overall you're a good sport!

Baths are fun in the big tub, especially with sister in the tub with you. You're tolerate bubbles, but mostly you just want to splash everything :) Just like your sister, you despise getting your face wiped. I promise we're just trying to keep you clean!

You still only have your bottom 2 teeth. Some days you seem like you're teething, but others you don't. We'll just wait patiently for more.

Overall you are an easy baby and we just love your sweet personality. You are flirty, laid back, and curious! Also, you love holding hair and touching faces. Right now, you are super into teeth and touch them whenever you can. You say "mama" with intent, and the other day it sounded like you said "hey dad!" It came out more like "Eh dah," but you looked right at your daddy and smiled really big when he looked at you. You can clap, but no waving yet. All in good time son :)

You love being in on the action, so you want to be on the floor crawling and exploring. However, you do the sweetest thing sometimes. You'll kind of make this cute panting sound while crawling to mama's feet. You just like to me near mama :) If mama is sitting on the floor, you crawl up to her lap and lean in so that you're forehead to forehead with her. Cue heart melting. Crawling is so much fun for you. You are getting faster and faster, and just love chasing after mama or Jilly. You have attempted to pull up to standing a few times, but it is not an everyday occurrance. You have gotten to your knees in your crib, so we may move it down to the next level in the coming weeks.

Your current nicknames are: Baby Davey, Davey Boy, LT, Bug, Dude, Dahveed, and Bubbie.

You are showing more signs of separation anxiety, but still go to the church nursery pretty easily. Hopefully we can get you through that phase relatively easily :)

Everything goes in your mouth right now. Toys, non-toys, hair, baby wipes, really whatever you can grab. You love it when mama sings "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and you really like Elmo. The only toy you ever seem to like is a stuffed puppy that technically belongs to Jillian. Hopefully that won't cause too many fights in the future.

You and your sister are adorable together. Even though she has mastered the phrase "No David, no!" and takes the toy you are playing with, you are always very patient with her. Sometimes you two get into these "squealing matches," which we know is just your way of talking right now. Jillian is usually pretty good at sharing her food with you too. I caught you too munching on pretzels on the kitchen floor the other morning. I can't wait to see your relationship continue to grow. As Jillian told you in the car the other day, you two will be "best friends for forever best of days" {And yes, that is exactly how she phrased it ;)}

LT, we are just so thankful to have you in our little family. Your giggles can brighten any day, and your smile just melts our hearts. As you grow up bigger and stronger, it will be hard for us to think of you as such a big boy. However, we are so proud of the man you are becoming, and will continue to pray as you grow more and more. I just know you will do great things and pray that God continues to bless you and keep you in His grace :)

Now some outtakes:
 {Crawling to his photo area}

 {Look mom, I'm sooooooo big!}

 {Rocking...}

 {...in the chair}

 {Think you're tough, huh? Try having a sister!}

 {That side smile and hair y'all. I can't even with all the cuteness!}

 {My happy boy clapping :)}

 {Big sister getting her own photo}

 {This is her roaring at me like a lion}

{My kiddos <3}

And some comparisons!
 {Months 1-3}

 {Months 4-6}

{Months 7 and 8}

{Months 9 and 10}

{Left: Jillian 10/2012 Right: David 10/2014}

But I Know What It Feels Like

This post is going to be awfully vulnerable and hard for me, but I really want to finally say it out loud. I got permission for my daughter ...