This past week, I've really struggled with some things. One in particular was feeling torn between being called to continue my education after UCO and being called to start my family. It wasn't helping that I've just felt very left out recently. I feel like that old married woman that no one wants to hang out with or thinks she is trying too hard to be friends because she's lonely. I know that's not exactly the case, but that's how I've been feeling.
Well, a friend from Tulsa, Kayla, recently got off facebook, but asked for her friends' email addresses so she could still communicate with them. It's been about a month since she sent me the message, but I just kind of lost track of time. So I emailed her last week and asked how she was. I also mentioned my struggles and she wrote back a beautiful message that was exactly what I needed to hear. I won't put the whole message on here, but this is the part that really made my heart smile :)
"I was thinking recently about how ironic it is that as a culture we have this mentality that if you are pro-life, and you love life, and you give yourself to the mission of receiving more life into the world through a family, somehow you can't "have a life" anymore. People see it as a tradeoff, either having children and not having time to be a world-class musician (in my case), or else being a serious musician and not having time for a family. It's a very human way of perceiving things, but I don't think it is God's way. Jesus said, "I came that they might have life and have it in abundance". It's not an either-or, but a both-and. With God all things are possible. I was just thinking about the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves. How different--we humans would think of the "division" of the loaves!! We think that every time we give ourselves away to loving or caring for another person, we lose out on other things or our portion gets smaller. But apparently the Lord thinks about it like the more generous we are, the more there is to go around. Love is infinite. Having children is the biggest application of this, because you know how deeply rooted this idea of the "division of the loaves" is towards the idea of having a family. But I was very encouraged thinking about the multiplication of the loaves, because I intend to have life in abundance. I think the Lord has been letting me know over the past year persevering through school with Gemma Rose that all things are possible with Him, and that He wants me to be able to have both--to bring forth life in abundance, and still "have a life" in abundance!!! So I guess at this point, I'm very encouraged to keep up performing, and keep on having children, in God's timing of course. Hopefully by sharing this with you I can encourage you in some way as well!"
I'm so glad she felt compelled to write this because it really made my day! I'm so glad I wrote her that original email and I will definitely make sure I keep in touch with this wonderful person :)
Other than that, we're still waiting to hear about Phil's fellowship, but we have talked more seriously about some other things. I will wait and post that tomorrow so I can spread it out a bit ;) Hope y'all are doing well! Happy Monday!
Peace to you,
"Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston
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