Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Destructive Behavior

I don't believe I have said anything on my blog about this before. Tuesdays are special for me. You see, I am a fan of trashy television. I'm sure most of us have at least one show that we hate to love or love to hate. It could be The Bachelorette, or Real Housewives of {fill in the blank}, or even a daytime soap opera of some kind. If you don't want any reality TV, then you are a stronger person than I.

Like many television-obsessed Americans, Phil and I mourn the loss of our fall shows. We know from mid-May until mid-September, nothing but reality television will be on. Some years, we are lucky enough to have the summer Olympics, but even those are towards the end of summer. What are we supposed to do?

Last summer, I was able to go home for my lunch break. Between what I could keep down and what I was craving at the time, it would have been hard to eat at the office I worked at. {For a few weeks, my lunch consisted of 20 pizza rolls and a quarter of a watermelon. Thank you pregnancy hormones!} Due to what was available on TV at the time, I got into a few shows: Dance Moms, Pretty Little Liars, Tia & Tamera, and Teen Mom. {I blame the last one on the fact that I was pregnant and wanted to watch other pregnant people.} Due to having nothing else to watch, I became involved with the people on these shows. I would talk about them to others as if I knew them in real life.

Well, thanks to some network scheduling, Tuesday nights are my "Trashy TV" nights. Starting at 7 p.m., Phil is sweet enough to take over Jillian's care while I unwind and watch my shows. It starts with Pretty Little Liars, then Dance Moms, and ends with Teen Mom. Usually I really enjoy myself. However, something has been really bothering me lately.

If you recall from this post, I had an episode where I was releasing tension and scared Jillian. I scared her so much that I made her cry. Now I fully admit that I have a short temper at times. What can I say? I do have Irish blood. Well, I have been re-watching Teen Mom on Netflix when Jillian is napping. Most of the couples have fights, but this is the group of girls that have Amber and Gary in the line-up. These two yell nearly every time they are on camera. It's almost exhausting to watch.

I started to notice something after I upset Jillian: the more I watch Teen Mom, the shorter my temper becomes. It is completely subconscious. I don't remember what exactly made me come to this realization, though I'm sure it was a God thing :) It is destructive behavior and it can only cut me down.

After a conversation with Phil, I have made a decision. I will watch Teen Mom because I am honestly curious about a few of the other girls. However, I will be muting the TV whenever Amber and Gary are shown, and I will not be watching anymore after this season ends. No Teen Mom 3, no 16 & Pregnant, or anything else like that.

It's not fair to Phil or to Jillian when I do things like this. They deserve my absolute best and I want to give it to them.

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