Saturday, March 22, 2014

Answers

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have some news.

As I'm sure you've noticed by my more recent posts, I've been in a bit of a slump. In an attempt to not sound like I'm whiney, I didn't really mention every thing. I've been emotionally and physically drained for about 2 months now. It is to the point where I can count on both hands the number of times I have felt well since January 1st. I assumed I was just adjusting to life with two children. Obviously, there was more to it.

After being sick and tired of being sick and tired, I confessed to Phil my fears on Thursday night. With the physical symptoms I have been battling for awhile, I told him I was afraid. Afraid that I had some kind of disease or disorder that caused my system to be out of whack. Afraid that it was something more, like a major health issue or even cancer. After assuring me he was not convinced it was cancer, he did suggest that I find a doctor to get everything checked out.

I slept on the idea, and then called my mom the next morning. Once I finished my story, my mom put in her two cents. It was the insight I needed, so I thought on it for a bit. I then googled what she mentioned, and decided to call my OBGYN. After they offered to squeeze me in at noon, I had my answer.

I have postpartum depression.

It's not an extreme case or anything, and I have not had any desires to harm myself or the children. If anything, the kids are taken care of, and I am the one I've neglected. I am just hoping this will help me function a little better. Plus, I had no idea it could come about any time during the first year of your child's life. I assumed that I wouldn't get it since I made it to the 6 week postpartum check-up without any indication that I would have postpartum depression. That's part of why I thought I was just needed to work harder at balancing two children.

I was not really expecting this, but in hindsight it does make sense. In fact, Phil was starting to suspect, but said that he didn't know how to bring it up.

{That is an awkward conversation starter.}

Hopefully things will start to finally fall into place. I am so thankful for the husband and family that I have because they are all being super supportive!

Of course, 2014 life kicked my butt again with killing off Phil's car so now we have to go car shopping soon.  {Is it 2015 yet? le sigh}

Although having anti-depression medication was not on my birthday wish list, it's what I got. Along with it, I have a newfound sense of pride in myself. I asked for help when I really needed it. It wasn't easy, but I'm on the right path now :)

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for being bold enough to share this, your courage is admirable. It is one of those things that most people don't want to make public. I know several people that have dealt with PPD and PPP and recognizing what it really was helped them so much. Keeping all of you in our prayers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so very sweet. Thank you for the support and prayers! I very much appreciate it :)

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...