Wednesday, March 19, 2014

My Limp

Motherhood is hard.

{Newsflash: DUH Courtney! AmIright?}

Every time I start to feel like I'm doing well, something else gets put on the pile, and it all comes crumbling down. I have a weekly breakdown, and it's usually on Friday afternoon between 3 and 4:30 pm. {And yes, I can tell you the time it usually happens. It's that consistent.} Today was almost the day to break down, but we luckily had a last minute play date that lifted my spirits a bit :)

I feel so blessed to have my two children, but being their mother is rough. I have to face every negative trait I personally have, as well as battle with my human side. It's humbling really. On my good days, I see it as an opportunity to work on my issues. On my bad days, it's dang near overwhelming. Those are the days I am on the phone with my mom multiple times. Even if it's just to hear another adult voice, I need that connection with the outside world.

Certain days, the joy far outweighs the negative. Days where I get in touch with my inner Wayne Brady and make up a song about M&Ms because Jillian really wants to hear one. Days where I give David the hiccups because I made him laugh. Even if I have moments of frustration, my heart is bursting by the time I go to bed. I count myself lucky to have the life I do.

On a different note, I keep tottering around the same 4-5 pounds since I delivered David. Even though I've really tweaked my eating habits, I haven't started working out yet. It is frustrating, but I do know that I need to work on my stress level before I do add working out to the mix. I am beyond amazed that I haven't developed an ulcer by this point in my life.

Despite how beaten down I can feel in this particular season of my life, I can still rejoice in my blessings. {I may need some help coming up with the list sometimes, but that's better than nothing right?} I am cutting myself some slack, and I hope I can keep that up :)

I hope to do some computer clean up so that I can have enough memory to upload photos again. As of right now, my computer won't let me upload from my phone or nice camera. Once I have the space again, be prepared for some picture posts again!

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