I Could Offer You A Warm Embrace...

If you follow me on Twitter, you noticed that I announced today would be hard for me. Hard because of a decision Phil and I have made that I'm not 100% sold on.

You see, back in January, I announced that we had a new member of the household. Her name is Salem and she is the sweetest cat in the world. Well, I don't recall mentioning it on here, but a few months after we got her, {I'd say around May}, she started using the corners of our apartment as her private liter box. Ok, that's not cool! So we bought special cleaner, watched her like a hawk, putting her in the bathroom with a liter box/food/water overnight, and she stopped. In that particular corner. She moved to a new corner, and then just under our bar stools, and then next to the liter box. Here's the main problem, she does it sporadically enough that, when we think she's got it out of her system, she'll do it again.

A few months ago, we took Petey to the vet because he had something wrong with his eye. While we were there, we mention to the vet what's been happening. First of all, he said they have more people complain about this who own fixed, female cats. Most people assume it's just young males, but that's not the case. The vet told us there is only one "trick", {and I use that term loosely}, to see what's going on. Essentially, cats don't always like to be in a large group. Sharing may be her problem, not pristinely clean liter could be the problem, or she could just be an outdoor cat. After the visit, we're tried out best to keep it as clean as we can. We even box a third liter box to see if that would help.

No such luck.

After Salem pooped on the floor while we finished breakfast yesterday, we knew we needed to do something.

Here's where it gets hard for me. Sure, I've had outdoor pets before. However, this was due to my family adopting strays, or in some cases, strays adopting us. We had our indoor dog, Candy, for a long time, and never had strictly outdoor pets after we moved to Oklahoma. We certainly never adopted a pet, made them indoor, then dubbed them an outdoor pet. Being the animal lover I am, I keep picturing Salem outside... cold, lonely.... sad, unable to defend herself (she's declawed).... missing us. It absolutely breaks my heart. However, what hurts even worse is thinking about putting her back in the shelter system or just giving her up period. I love her so much! Phil had an outdoor dog most of his life so he's not too worried. I did get him to agree to building a "shelter" of some sorts. So after talking with my mama, and Phil, we decided to get her a new collar and tag with our contact info and test the waters. I am only ok with doing this at our current apartment because we have a fenced in patio area. It's small, but she seems to enjoy being out there most of the time. I chickened out and asked to skip last night and try it for the day today. However, it started misting this morning, {of course!}, so she started to "mew" outside the door. Phil let her in and forgot to put her back out before he left the apartment this morning. My mama did warn me that, whenever we do move, she may not want to leave and I need to be prepared for that :( She said it's like having children: you have certain rules, but if your child is clearly not happy, you need to fix the situation so they are. My mama is a wise lady :)

Am I just over-reacting? Am I being too soft? Do you think she'll be ok?

That's why I'm so "on-edge" today. I'm just worried about my little SaySay. Gotta let my baby take her wings and fly... as long as it's not over the fence HAHA

With that being said, here's my poem for today...

{And just for an FYI, I'm not a smoker. I just tried to put myself in that character. No new bad habit here!}

Weekender

The rising and falling

of her chest

as she inhales one more time

Swirling smoke suffocating

the sunroom

casting shadows in the rays of sun

Warmth overcomes her

She closes her eyes

The only time darkness comforts

The wind picks up

her hair

and tosses it with the salty taste of humidity

Expectation melting

drop by drop

running down her stream of consciousness

She is reminded

of why she is here

and where she came from

To escape?

To dream?

Peace to you,

"To Make You Feel My Love" by Adele