Jillian's Speech Therapy Graduation

{If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you already saw what today was all about. For my sake, I wanted to record it here too.}

Today was a bittersweet day in our family. Today was Jillian's last official speech therapy session. We may go one more time before school starts, but we do not have any on the calendar as of now.

{We took some cookies to share with the clinic to celebrate!}

I have always wondered what this day would be like. Would I be happy? Sad? Relieved? Excited? Worried? Honestly, I think I'm a mix of most of these with an emphasis on proud. I am so proud of Jillian and all she has accomplished. I'm proud of our family for finding a way to help her. I'm proud of her speech therapist, who really did amazing things in and out of the therapy room!

Our journey to this place has definitely been a roller coaster. From the time she was officially diagnosed with hearing loss, to the day she started talking full sentences, we have had many things that truly made me worry that I couldn't do this. I didn't feel equipped to handle this, and I didn't want to make anything worse for Jillian. There was a stretch of several months where Jillian could obviously understand us, but chose not to verbally answer. Her hour long speech therapy sessions would be 50 minutes of her just screaming and balling her eyes out. It was so hard.

In a years time, we went from sessions with tears to this:

Take Me Out To The Ballgame by Jillian Coghill 10/24/2014 from Courtney on Vimeo.
{This has been awhile, but it's still appropriate being baseball season and all ;)}

Jillian's hearing clinic gave us so much more than speech therapy sessions, booth tests, and a preschool for Jillian to attend. They gave us hope. They gave us triumph. They gave us love.

Anyone in that clinic loved my daughter. No, they loved all of us! They helped me realize that I can be the parent Jillian needs. I have it in me to do what it takes. I have it in me to be my child's advocate. I have it in me to be a source for other families who are going through the same thing. I have it in me to defend my daughter when people make comments one way or the other about her hearing loss and/or lack of hearing technology. I have it in me to be a cheerleader for other children.

For Jillian, they taught her that she can do anything. It may be hard work, but it can be done! I mean, you just try to tell Jilly that she has hearing loss and that it will hold her back. She would laugh right in your face, then speak as eloquently as a 15 year old. This girl can do anything. It's what I always wanted for her, and the hearing clinic helped me do just that. She is so confident in herself!

I can't tell you the number of times I have teared up or ugly cried when I hear about another child's successes in speech therapy. I know what it feels like to wonder if and when your precious baby will ever get there.

It is my hope and prayer that, if you or anyone you know is going through some type of hearing loss diagnosis, that you get to be connected to such an amazing group like we did. It was truly a God thing that we ended up where we did. Before Jillian was even born, I researched pediatricians, Phil and I met with/interviewed the one we ended up choosing, then he is the one that had us to the official test at this clinic. Then, just weeks before Jillian's diagnosis, legislature was passed so that Jillian's services were covered by the state until age 3! With Phil still being in graduate school for his PhD, that was the only way we could afford the services.

I wish there was more I could do to express just how thankful and happy I am. It is hard to think that this part of our life is over for now. We were recently told that, with some new research evidence, Jillian may need a hearing aid, or even a cochlear implant at some point in her life for that ear. Definitely not something we need to worry about in the immediate future though. It makes sense, and I am not worried whatsoever. If I learned anything, it is that the clinic will go above and beyond to make sure Jillian gets the best care she needs. {Their therapists actually go visit the families of kids who have surgery for cochlear implants!} We do get to go ever 3 months for booth tests, but it won't be the exact same. I just hope that clinic knows just how much of a blessing they are!

To Ms. Casey, Ms. Jenn, Ms. Krystal, Ms. Tami, Ms. Megan, Ms. Laurel, Ms. Jackie, Ms. Reyna, and everyone else at Hearts for Hearing, thank you from my whole entire heart!

Mother's Day 2015

Mother's Day this year was overall good! It was certainly different from last year. Not that last year was bad, but I am in a completely different place mentally and emotionally.

We had some rough storms during the week, including the day before Mother's Day. I told Phil I just wanted hot dogs for dinner, and to still have a house to live in. Luckily for me, I got both of my wishes :) {When your expectations are low, you are usually pretty happy with the outcome! HAHAHA}

Phil offered to watch both kiddos while I showered and got gussied up for church. I was playing in a handbell trio for both worship services, so I still had to wake up early. Phil was sweet enough to bring me some coffee while I did my hair! Then, Jillian came in and said, "Mama! I have a surprise flower for you!" Hahaha We'll have to work on her surprises later ;) I got a beautiful corsage to wear to church. {This use to be a tradition in my family for Mother's Day as well as if you had a birthday on Sunday morning. It fell by the wayside once I got older, but I mentioned to Phil that I wanted to start it back up again!}

The one downside to Mother's Day was that Phil ended up having to be at work for a good portion of the day. I understood why, and I wasn't upset at all. Besides, him having a job is way more important to me than getting a nap! We did get to eat dinner together and put the kids to bed before he had to go back to work. I also tried making my first strawberry rhubarb pie. It tasted ok, but it was too liquid-y. I was a little disappointed, but I'll just make a few changes for next time. Overall, I had a great day! I hope all you moms got to feel special too!

Here are a few pictures from the day:

{My beautiful corsage! They did a great job picking it out :)}

{Of course I wouldn't be a mom without this great guy! I'm glad I don't have to try being a single parent. It is an honor to parent alongside Phil!} 

{Honestly, this was the best shot I got of me with my babies at church. Hey, when you have a 3-1/2 and 1-1/2 year old, this is as good as it gets! I would have loved a picture with all of us smiling and looking at the camera, but this is so representative of where our family is right now. Some day I'll truly treasure pictures like these.}

{Hot dogs and sweet potato fries! Just the dinner I asked for :)} 

 {My liquid pie}

{Amen!}

If It Ain't One Thing...

Well lookie lookie. I'm finally able to jump back on to Blogger! I will have quite a few backdated posts here in the next week or so.

My 5 year old laptop is going kaput. At first we assumed it was the internet, but now we know it's more than that. For the most part, my computer is backed up on an external hard drive. {No worries on that front!} It will be at least a year before we can afford a new computer for me. Luckily, our family desktop that has been neglected for several months is it great working condition. Bear with me as I transfer ownership.

School is quickly wrapping up for Jillian, so our almost bearable normal is going to change to a new summer normal. Prayers are always appreciated ;)

See y'all soon!

April Highlights

April was a pretty hectic month for our family. I don't have many pictures, but I can assure you were had plenty to do!

{I just love his sweet profile <3}

{Date night!}

{Jillian keeps falling asleep UNDER her bed. Goofy girl!}

{This was my last time to make snack for Jillian's preschool class, so I went all out with little pig faces!}

{Phil's brother finished our Christmas gift - A shelf for the kitchen made out of the old wood from my family dinning room table! It is very beautiful, and means so much to me :)}

{I attempted my first crocheting project, which was really just practicing the stitching. Jillian is using it as a doll blanket for now!}

{I went out for a girl's night! It was tons of fun just hanging out with these lovely ladies :)}

{Finally got the bookshelf hung up!}

{David and I went to a friend's house, and David found these to play with. He's adorable <3}

{We had a few long rehearsals for a special choir Phil and I were in. We even made the news for the concert!}

{This little man... he is now very special to me. The special choir Phil and I were a part of was composed of 168 people in honor of the 168 victims of the Murrah Building Bombing. I was not living in Oklahoma at the time of the bombing, but it is something that has definitely made an impact on my life the longer I live here. As I meet survivors, hear people's stories... it just gets to me. We were asked to pick a name to represent that person in our special concert/worship service. This service was to bring hope and peace on the 20th anniversary of this tragic day. I found out that David was almost the same age as Tevin to the day. That made singing a little harder because I felt so overwhelmed with emotions. Thankfully, I was able to push through, and I am now connected to this boy until the day I die. I sure hope our songs were comforting for those still suffering.}

{Trying to teach Jillian to blow bubbles herself. It took several tries, but she got the hang of it!}

{Jillian has been requesting this song a lot lately, which definitely puts me in a good mood :)}

{We got a small picnic table for the kids to use in the house. They approve!}

{We celebrated Earth Day with special cupcakes from Gigi's and they were delicious!}

{I bought two mugs like this and sent the other to my mom. This way, we can think of each other every time we use it :)}

{Making goofy faces with my girl}

{Daddy went on a Men's Retreat with church, so I got to spend the weekend with the kiddos. I sure love his smile :)}

{We got Jillian a haircut! It is helping with her hair, but it can still get pretty crazy. I'm just not used to caring for fine hair since my is so thick! If you have any tips, I am all ears!}

{During our weekend without daddy, Jillian headbutted me and gave me a fat lip. It looks worse than it felt, but it didn't feel good}

{Amen to that!}

{I may have an OCD about this. Don't judge me!}

{We ended this month with the first official "swim" in our backyard pool. David looks like such a grown up in the chair :)}

Gift To Myself

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of catching up with a sister of mine. More specifically, a sorority sister I have not seen in a decade. She was in town very briefly, so I made plans to run up to Tulsa to see her. We, the four Coghills, met her at a pizza place where two other sisters of mine would later join us. After we arrived, sweet Beth asked me, "So, what have you been up to these last 10 years?"

I started with the normal responses. I got married, transferred colleges, got a degree, started having babies, and started taking Jillian to speech therapy for her unilateral hearing loss. Once I got to the part of having babies, that's when the conversation ended on my part. While it was so good to talk with her, and the other sisters once they joined us, I just felt a little out of place.

This was not at all the fault of my fellow diners. They were all very sweet, gracious, and fun to be with. I was just feeling very low on my end. Even though I think being a SAHM is just as much of a worthy occupation as having a job outside of the home, I felt like there was very little I could add to conversation. Honestly, aside from my day to day chaos, I realized I don't really have any hobbies. I barely have any interests. I don't even have a career goal in mind. As much as I love living vicariously through my friends, I was starting to feel like I was lost. Where did I go? Where am I hiding? How do I get myself back?

I thought a little about these things during dinner. I thought even more on the drive home. As we neared the end of the turnpike, I finally to Phil how I was feeling and what I was thinking about. Once I bounced some stuff off of him, I decided I would tell my parents when I saw them in person.

When I imagine my life, I think of what brings me the most joy. That is, aside from my marriage, family, children, etc.

If money didn't matter, I would want to write poems and short stories. {Heck, if it paid a tiny bit, that would be even better!} Even if I had a full-time job that paid me, I would still want to write. I can even pinpoint the moments in my life when I struggled with processing things because I wasn't writing.

I'm not unrealistic about this. I know that going from wanting to sing professionally to writing poems and short stories is like going from I-don't-want-to-make-much-money to I-don't-want-to-make-any-money-ever. The most that will probably ever happen is getting a poem or two published in a journal of some sort. That is perfectly fine with me.

For my birthday, my parents gave me some money so that I could get a few journals. I bought a big one, then two pocket-sized ones to carry in my purse. This way, I can jot down anything that pops in my head. {Now the Notes app on my phone can have a rest!} So far, I have already written two full poems, and the first song in a cantata I want to write for church. {Long story}

I am beyond excited about this. Not only has it been fun, it has really settled my soul. I feel lighter almost! It feels like I'm finally being honest with myself.

I also bought materials to learn how to crochet as a birthday gift from my folks. That is a story for another day...

Easter 2015

Our Easter this year was relatively low key since we're all still recovering from our colds. Here are some highlights:

{The Easter Bunny left a family basket this year. Since we're all still recovering from our colds, this was probably the best option instead of SO much candy}

{David checking out the basket}

{I just love his hair! HAHA}

{He seemed to really like the book too}

{Of course Jillian wanted to go after the chocolate first ;)}

{That smile :)}

{A quick egg hunt in between the rain at church!}

{David kind of understood, but next year I'm sure he'll be all about it!}

{After a busy morning, we went home, and got our jammies on! We were finally feeling better, and we were ready to relax.}
{He is Risen! Allelujah!}

Cracking the Door

After a few weeks, I feel refreshed enough to begin again. There will, however, be a few changes.

The first change is going to be: I will stop watermarking all of my photos. If I'm particularly worried about an image, I will watermark that one specifically. Otherwise, it will save lots of time if I just post photos. That begin said, if you ever happen upon a photo that belongs to me that someone is using, let me know as soon as you can! Please and thank you :)

The second is, I'm going to stop being so vague about things. If you're allowed to know, I will tell you. If not, I will say it is something that I feel is not appropriate for a blog. Believe it or not, I personally feel some things should not be shared on social media even in this day in age. A few topics, (like finances, marital issues, and the like), are not up for public discussion. Also, if the news or situation is not mine to share, (like a parent's job situation), then it is not appropriate for me to write about. Besides, I need an air of mystery, no?

Finally, the last change will be a more personal one. I will be more honest with myself, which I hope will be reflected in my blog.

The last two weeks have been especially crazy because the four of us in the Coghill household had a really nasty cold virus. I'm talking, double ear infections for all, pink eye for both kiddos, nasty/mucus-y coughs, lots of tissues everywhere, and antibiotics for everyone kind of nasty cold. It is finally just about gone, and I couldn't be happier. I honestly thought I would be sick the rest of my life! We're all about at 90%, but I'm not sure if it's still the cold or allergies. Time will time :)

We had a busy Easter that included us all taking naps and not leaving the house after 2 pm. All in all, it was a good day and we are so very thankful for the gift of Jesus and his sacrifice that we do not deserve. What amazing love has our father shown toward us!

Hope you had a good month, and I look forward to being around again!