Valentine's Day and Lesson Learned

I learned yet another lesson in parenthood yesterday. You see, Jillian's first Valentine's Day didn't go as I originally imagined. I had such a cute outfit for her to wear...

{All dressed up} 

{What a funny face} 

{Love her!} 

{Her cute shoe socks}

Well, she had her 2nd month check up at 9:30 a.m. She is 9 lbs, 10 oz and 22 1/2" long. It sounds like everything is on track and Dr. V is hopeful about our next hearing screening. He said that she will develop her language and speech skills without sounding different, which is his main concern. Then of course came the shots. She got one vaccine orally, then two shots in her right leg and one shot in her left leg. She was fine until the first shot was finished and she. was. angry. Her little face, (her whole head actually), got beet red and she was screaming. My baby doesn't scream unless she is in major pain. Once the shots were done, her daddy picked her up and placed her on his shoulder. She would calm down a bit, but then stick out her bottom lip and get worked up again. I am proud of myself for not crying with her though. After the nurse finished with everything, we got her dressed again. We not only got her calm, but she even smiled at me as I put her in her infant seat before leaving the exam room. She slept all the way home and for a little while after. We thought all was well. Then...

{Calm before the storm}

Jillian woke up from her nap screaming. I mean, she could hardly catch her breath she was crying so hard.  We gave her some Tylenol, but even that wasn't enough because it's not instant pain relief. I had to do the 5 S's for calming her down. She finally calmed enough to fall back to sleep, but she still whimpered for awhile.

Phil and I had a dinner and movie date and my mom promised they would be ok. We went to a local sushi restaurant and enjoyed some delicious sushi rolls! It has almost been a full year since I've had any so it was so nice to have some raw fish :) As we drove to the theater, I called just to check in. Jillian woke up while we were eating and was even smiling. She still wasn't eating well, but she wasn't in pain any more. I felt better knowing she was slowly returning to her normal, happy self. So Phil and I enjoyed Beauty and the Beast in 3D! We shared a large Coke Icee and had a lot of fun. Once we got home, Jillian was asleep again. She pretty much slept the rest of the night and only ate about 14 ounces all day. 

Jillian woke up around 7 am and was her smiling self again. She's still a little tender on her thighs, but it's not horrible. Jillian is also eating much better today. I really wanted pictures of her with her valentine, (my mom), and a few others, but clearly her well being is more important to me.

Plus, she surprised me by being super chatty this afternoon :)

All in all, I had a great Valentine's Day. I not only got to spend it with my husband and beautiful baby girl, but also with my parents and brother. We exchanged cards, candy, and most importantly laughter :) I always have such a good time with my family. I am truly blessed!

Sadly, my parents had to fly home this afternoon and my brother went home as well. I did get some parting shots of Jillian with them :)

{G-Chaz loves her} 

{Jillian and her Jemma} 

{Her wonderful Uncle Mikey!}

Part of Our Story

Back in the summer of 2004, I had no expectations to find the man I was going to marry. I had just graduated high school, and I was just focusing on having fun with my friends before we left for different colleges in the fall. I had been a serial girlfriend and had never really just dated before. Although there were a few guys on my radar, nothing really came about with any of them.

That all changed in July.

I got a letter from school that included the contact information for my roommate. Since I didn't know anyone attending school with me, my roommate was picked through a potluck drawing. We were both music majors and I'm sure that had something to do with it. I received a phone call from my roommate so we could discuss what we were going to bring in terms of furniture, fridges, and things like that. My roommate was not much of a phone talker so we exchanged AIM screen names. You know, because AIM was big back then ;)

The second time we chatted online, I got a message from a screen name "wldntulktoknwwho". Right before I hit the "reject" button, my roommate told me that if I got a message from that name, it was her friend Phil from high school. Not sure why he wanted to talk to me, I accepted and we started chatting. {I asked him later and he said he just wanted to make sure we got along since he and my roommate were taking a class together and would be studying in our room frequently.}

We had a few things in common, including having the same favorite baseball team (which is rare, trust me!). We got along well so he asked if we could talk again sometime. I told him yes and we ended up talking every single day until school started.

Phil is not the type of guy to ask someone to be his girlfriend, so we considered our first official date as our anniversary. We got along great and we were falling pretty hard and fast. By the summer, we were very serious and talking about getting married when we both finished school.

That summer was the hardest of my life. Not only was I apart from the guy I loved, but I had several people close to me die. I had two older members at church pass away at the beginning of July. Two weeks later, my Aunt Nancy died in her sleep. That one hurt the worst. I was in such a state of shock and depression. I had to keep going, but I was not happy about it. Once I got to school, (a week before classes for marching band/sorority stuff), I had a friend from high school die in a car accident. That was the final straw.

For the next few months, I made sure I went to enough parties to get drunk every weekend. I never drank during the school week, but I made sure I did Friday and Saturday nights. I just loved that I was happy. Everything was funny and I always had fun dancing and hanging out with my friends. Phil of course was not really happy with my choice of activities and it caused several fights.

Finally, in January of 2006, I had enough. I was doing what I wanted to and I was tired of fighting. I broke up with Phil and tried my best to distance myself from him. It's not easy when someone has been your best friend for the past year and a half. I know it really hurt him when I did this.

I tried just dating instead of being someone's girlfriend. I continued to party as often as I wanted and I even skipped class more than I should have. I was completely lost and I alienated the one person that really cared.

By my birthday in late March, I decided I had enough. I missed being the center of someone's world and figured out that dating wasn't for me. I was tired of feeling like all I did was drink. Even though I was happy at the time, I didn't want that to be who I was. I really hated that I was doing so poorly in class. Most importantly, I missed Phil. I missed talking to him and being around him. I tried fixing my life, but I didn't think that would be possible with Phil. I assumed he was still hurt and would never consider taking me back as his girlfriend.

I ran into Phil at the grad party being thrown for the seniors in late April. It looked like he was there on a date and it was killing me. I was hurt and mad and wanted to cry. After I got back to my room at school, I took a deep breath and called Phil. I asked if he wanted to hang out and he quickly agreed. That night, we talked about everything and I apologized profusely for everything I put him through. Apparently he still loved me and would be willing to talk about dating me again. Even though we didn't officially get back together that night, we were a couple again by Phil's birthday in May.

After that, our relationship was different. Not that it was perfect or better than ever, but it was full of so much understanding and love. We knew what it was like to be without one another and knew it was not the way we wanted our lives to go.

We were engaged by November of 2006, married in 2008, and now we have the most beautiful daughter :) It makes me so thankful that I went through what I did. If I didn't drink too much, I wouldn't have learned how to deal with my feelings in a healthier way. If I didn't break up with Phil, I never would have appreciated him and how he treats me. I realized just how much he means to me in those short months. He has shown me a love that I never thought I would experience. It is a love full of hope, forgiveness, and a sense of security that I so desperately need. With Phil, I know that I am loved and cared for. And watching him interact and love our daughter? It adds a whole new level that does nothing but solidify what I felt already.

On this day to remember those we love, I would be causing a great injustice if I didn't acknowledge my husband. The man who has made my world a little brighter. With everything we've been through, I know that he gives me strength. Trust me when I say it takes a lot to deal with me sometimes. God made sure Phil had plenty of patience to deal with me!

I love you Phil :)

Jillian: {Two Months}

Jillian –

You are two months old today! It was a rough month for you and me, but we survived and are stronger for it :)

According to our measurements at home, you are 10 lbs and 22 1/2 inches long. I will update this when we get your official measurements at your well appointment  in 2 days. Update: You are officially 9lbs, 10 oz and 22 1/2" long :)

You can wear a few newborn outfits for now. It’s more comfortable for you to wear the 0-3 months clothes you have. We’ve figured out that, even if the same company makes it, sometimes 3 months clothes are smaller and thinner than the others. You wear size 1 diapers, but they are a little big on you.

As far as feedings go, you have about between 5 - 6 feedings a day and eat between 22 – 25 ounces. You are exclusively on Similac Advance formula. You have a tendency to fall asleep during feedings and it seems to happen more to your daddy than to me. However, if we give you about 10 minutes to rest, you usually wake up ready to finish.

After a scary incident, your pediatrician diagnosed you with reflux prescribed some Zantac for you. You still spit up fairly often, though some days are better than others. 98% of the time you don’t seem to be as uncomfortable as you used to. Even if you are fast asleep, you will scrunch up your face and cry if you have a bad case of reflux or gas. That face is heartbreaking :( It seems that you’ve been more congested after you started the medicine, but using my old humidifier at night seems to have helped a bunch!

You don’t mind a wet or poopy diaper, but you cry crocodile tears because of gas.

Bath time is very enjoyable for you! We bought you a special tub with a newborn sling, and you decided you were too big for the sling by 6 weeks. As long as the water is warm, you just sit quietly and wide-eyed as we get you all clean. You could live without me taking so long to do lotion and getting you dressed, but you’re usually pretty good about letting me do my thing.

You have a very sweet and calm temperament!  We are constantly complimented on how well behaved, how alert and calm you are. You seem to save any major meltdowns for home. Even at your fussiest, you have never cried for more than 20 minutes. Usually you just want to be held. Most of the time, I can get your to calm down, but sometimes you just need your daddy.

You are a BIG daddy’s girl. You smile more for him than you do for me and he can make any fussy time better. I am a little jealous, but it’s so sweet to watch you two that I don’t mind.

I love that I’m starting to figure things about you. I can usually tell when you’re still just a little hungry or when you just want to be held. I can tell when you’re really upset about something and when you just want to tell us you do not approve of what’s going on.

Your social smile is so sweet! You usually have to be prompted to smile, but you will do it for your parents out of the blue sometimes.

The swing is a favorite of yours. You get that from your mama :)

Bedtime routine starts at 8:30 p.m. You get your Zantac, a bath, then a final bottle to make sure you’re good and full. Even though you finish your bottle around 9:15 or so, you usually don’t fall asleep until closer to 10:15 or 10:30. Luckily for us, you will sleep until close to 5 a.m. most nights! Your daddy feeds you and you’re back to sleep for another 2 hours or so. You have had a few nights where you wake up close to midnight because you have so much gas :(

Tummy time is hit or miss. This is partially due to the fact that your reflux will make you spit up several times. The days you are able to do it for longer than 5 minutes, you could be there all day. You sometimes lift your head, but you’re content just licking the mat or your fist. You do lift your head better and more often if we do tummy time on my chest. If I turn you on your back, you will swat at the hanging toys on your activity mat! You’ve successfully gripped the toys a few times as well.

You’ve been out and about a few times, including going to work with mama for a few hours. Usually you sleep through the outing. If you are awake, you are alert, quiet, and taking it all in. The few times you’ve gotten fussy, a pacifier made it better.

The car seat makes you pretty sleepy. You did have an entire car ride where you were awake and you didn’t cry once! There was a time where you did cry all the way home from Norman in the car. It’s ok to slip every so often, but don’t make that a habit mmmk? :)

5 days after your 1 month birthday, we found out you have severe hearing loss in your right ear. It was shocking to find out and I took it pretty hard. However, with your left ear being perfect, you should develop speech and language normally with extra help from a speech therapist and us. You do respond to us talking and coo so we’re not too worried.

I love you more and more every day baby girl. You are so special to your daddy and I and we love watching you grow :)

And now a few outtakes:

{Love that smile on my squirmy girl!} 

{Looking at her daddy} 

{Sweet Pea}

And a comparison :)

"Nursery" Tour

I put nursery in quotations because it's not really her nursery. I'm so ready to have more room so I can set one up for her! In fact, I still won't reveal the "theme" of it since I have so many things I will do for her nursery when I can. Hopefully we'll be moving to at least a rental house in the next few months. However, I'm pretty happy with how her little space looks for now :)

{Her bassinet is near my side of the bed and between the bathroom and closet} 

{It is guarded by Karl Henry III, the humongous lion my brother got Jillian for Christmas. You can see her photo shoot with the lion here :)} 

{The art work above her bassinet! The J was made by her wonderful Aunt Jessica, and I made the sign the other day because I loved the quote} 

{Her changing table is between our dresser and the door to the hallway}

{This is the cross-stitch I did for her :)}

{Her toys, baskets full of diapers, and the yarn letters that were also made by Auntie Jess!}

{Poor Jill got all dressed up to run errands with mama and daddy, but it was cold and windy so she chilled out in her car seat while mama and daddy traded turns going out for various errands}

Happy Saturday!

Quilts, Ninjas, and Love

I don't think I mentioned this, but I finally finished my quilt right before Jillian arrived! I started this quilt back in December of 2009. I wanted to do a baby quilt because I'm lazy I figured it would be small enough to handle since I'm new to the process. Being so much like my astrological sign, I got distracted and/or hit road bumps because I'm not familiar with quilting or using a sewing machine. I was very close to finishing this fall so my mom offered to help when she came for Jillian's birth. I finished two days before Jillian came into the world with my mama's help, (and the grace of God because that sewing machine was not going down without a fight). It has lots of mistakes, but it is made with love. Plus, it accomplishes something else on my list of 30 things to do before I'm 60! Since we live in Oklahoma, it is cowboy themed, but the other side is brown with white polka dots.

{You better believe I was hiding my huge belly with it ;)}

I definitely won't be getting the mom of the year award. The last two times I put a headband on Jillian's head, it fell over her eyes while she took a nap. She looked so much like a ninja, I just had to take some pictures! Of course, if I were a better mom, I would have fixed it without the pictures. What fun would that have been though?

 {What is going on here?}

{I said no pictures mom!} 

{The next day? Sleeping through the whole ordeal}

I've been seeing a lot of people posting their love stories lately in honor of Valentine's Day. I know I have a short version on my long winded about me. However, I may do a special edition on Valentine's Day because I lurv my man :)

Happy Friday y'all!

Teary Eyes and Spider Bites

In the past week, Miss Jillian has learned the fine art of crying with tears. She has discovered that it makes mama move faster than normal, unless we're in the car (in which case mama drives faster). It is absolutely heartbreaking. I mean, imagine this cry...

with tears welling up in her big dark blue eyes and two big crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks. Break my mommy heart. I think the fact that she doesn't cry much at all makes it that much harder to take. I love my happy baby and I would do anything to keep her smiles and silly faces all the time.

Also, I couldn't get a good picture, but we're about 98% sure Jillian was bitten by a spider. She has these two scabs on her right hand that are just too perfectly spaced for it to be a scratch from her nails. Of course, being the mama bear I am, I went into "I'll kill that spider who touched my bebe!" mode. Phil broke down her little bassinet, (including taking the sheet off the mattress), and of course the spider was gone. We kept an eye on the wound as well as her temperature and she seems ok. The scab is starting to fade so all is well. I'll just say I pity the fool spider that bites my bebe!! Yeah, apparently mama bear is half Mr. T ;)

Happy Hump Day!

February for Us: Part 2 Photo Update

Since Jillian was 8 weeks yesterday, I did a little photo shoot! She has several photos where she's close to a big smile, so I have several favorites :)

As a reminder to the grandparents, (cough cough Mama... I'm talking to you!), if you want any of these, I can email them to you without the watermark :)

And now Jillian is awake so I must dash. I promise to be back tomorrow for a better update!