Part of Our Story

Back in the summer of 2004, I had no expectations to find the man I was going to marry. I had just graduated high school, and I was just focusing on having fun with my friends before we left for different colleges in the fall. I had been a serial girlfriend and had never really just dated before. Although there were a few guys on my radar, nothing really came about with any of them.

That all changed in July.

I got a letter from school that included the contact information for my roommate. Since I didn't know anyone attending school with me, my roommate was picked through a potluck drawing. We were both music majors and I'm sure that had something to do with it. I received a phone call from my roommate so we could discuss what we were going to bring in terms of furniture, fridges, and things like that. My roommate was not much of a phone talker so we exchanged AIM screen names. You know, because AIM was big back then ;)

The second time we chatted online, I got a message from a screen name "wldntulktoknwwho". Right before I hit the "reject" button, my roommate told me that if I got a message from that name, it was her friend Phil from high school. Not sure why he wanted to talk to me, I accepted and we started chatting. {I asked him later and he said he just wanted to make sure we got along since he and my roommate were taking a class together and would be studying in our room frequently.}

We had a few things in common, including having the same favorite baseball team (which is rare, trust me!). We got along well so he asked if we could talk again sometime. I told him yes and we ended up talking every single day until school started.

Phil is not the type of guy to ask someone to be his girlfriend, so we considered our first official date as our anniversary. We got along great and we were falling pretty hard and fast. By the summer, we were very serious and talking about getting married when we both finished school.

That summer was the hardest of my life. Not only was I apart from the guy I loved, but I had several people close to me die. I had two older members at church pass away at the beginning of July. Two weeks later, my Aunt Nancy died in her sleep. That one hurt the worst. I was in such a state of shock and depression. I had to keep going, but I was not happy about it. Once I got to school, (a week before classes for marching band/sorority stuff), I had a friend from high school die in a car accident. That was the final straw.

For the next few months, I made sure I went to enough parties to get drunk every weekend. I never drank during the school week, but I made sure I did Friday and Saturday nights. I just loved that I was happy. Everything was funny and I always had fun dancing and hanging out with my friends. Phil of course was not really happy with my choice of activities and it caused several fights.

Finally, in January of 2006, I had enough. I was doing what I wanted to and I was tired of fighting. I broke up with Phil and tried my best to distance myself from him. It's not easy when someone has been your best friend for the past year and a half. I know it really hurt him when I did this.

I tried just dating instead of being someone's girlfriend. I continued to party as often as I wanted and I even skipped class more than I should have. I was completely lost and I alienated the one person that really cared.

By my birthday in late March, I decided I had enough. I missed being the center of someone's world and figured out that dating wasn't for me. I was tired of feeling like all I did was drink. Even though I was happy at the time, I didn't want that to be who I was. I really hated that I was doing so poorly in class. Most importantly, I missed Phil. I missed talking to him and being around him. I tried fixing my life, but I didn't think that would be possible with Phil. I assumed he was still hurt and would never consider taking me back as his girlfriend.

I ran into Phil at the grad party being thrown for the seniors in late April. It looked like he was there on a date and it was killing me. I was hurt and mad and wanted to cry. After I got back to my room at school, I took a deep breath and called Phil. I asked if he wanted to hang out and he quickly agreed. That night, we talked about everything and I apologized profusely for everything I put him through. Apparently he still loved me and would be willing to talk about dating me again. Even though we didn't officially get back together that night, we were a couple again by Phil's birthday in May.

After that, our relationship was different. Not that it was perfect or better than ever, but it was full of so much understanding and love. We knew what it was like to be without one another and knew it was not the way we wanted our lives to go.

We were engaged by November of 2006, married in 2008, and now we have the most beautiful daughter :) It makes me so thankful that I went through what I did. If I didn't drink too much, I wouldn't have learned how to deal with my feelings in a healthier way. If I didn't break up with Phil, I never would have appreciated him and how he treats me. I realized just how much he means to me in those short months. He has shown me a love that I never thought I would experience. It is a love full of hope, forgiveness, and a sense of security that I so desperately need. With Phil, I know that I am loved and cared for. And watching him interact and love our daughter? It adds a whole new level that does nothing but solidify what I felt already.

On this day to remember those we love, I would be causing a great injustice if I didn't acknowledge my husband. The man who has made my world a little brighter. With everything we've been through, I know that he gives me strength. Trust me when I say it takes a lot to deal with me sometimes. God made sure Phil had plenty of patience to deal with me!

I love you Phil :)