Connections

Over the years, I've admitted to seeing connections where there really are none. I think I just like knowing everything and everyone is connected together somehow. Other times, I've been validated when describing connections to other people who confirm there is something there.

To show all the connections for this particular story, we are going to go back to 2014.

On Jillian's 3rd birthday, David woke up with a fever. Being a new 12 month old, I figured it was just a bug that needed time to work through his system. He was having high fevers, but no other real symptoms. He was not eating well, and would just cry all night. As you know, he was hospitalized and thankfully did not need a surgery to correct his intussusception. I was so glad to have a healthy boy back home. It scared me to death to see him so sick and in the hospital.

After Christmas, we were approached to participate in a special choir for the 20th anniversary of the Murrah Building Bombing. I've mentioned before that I was still living in Arkansas at the time it happened, so I had very little connection to the event. It was very sad, but I had no reason to really dwell on it. One of the things they did for this choir was to have the same number of singers as there were victims. That way, it was like we were a voice for them.

At one of the last rehearsals, we were asked to pick a name with a picture on it. That would be the person we were singing for. I decided I wanted to pick a child if I could, since I was a new-ish mother myself. By the time I got there, most of the names were gone. However, there was a cute little boy named Tevin that I picked up. He didn't look very old, so I tried googling him. All I could figure out was that he was 16 months at the time of the bombing. That meant he was the same age as David would be at the time of the concert. That was hard. Having just had that scary experience with David's health, I couldn't even begin to imagine what life would have been like if I lost him. That made the concert a little harder for me. Knowing they were close in age, I tried to find out Tevin's actual birthday. I was unsuccessful. However, I felt like I would want to remember him around David's birthday every year. If nothing else, I wanted to say a prayer for his family.

Fast forward to November of 2015. Phil and I were unsure if we'd be able to have another child after trying off and on all year. In that month, we got our dog, I was in a car accident, (small rear-ending at low speeds), and Phil went out of town. It was a stressful month. However, after a moment of just pure hormonal-madness on my part, I decided to take a pregnancy test on 11/25. It looked negative, but I knew I could see a very faint line. It was faint enough that I didn't even mention it to Phil until the next day. However, in my heart of hearts, I just knew it was positive. Whether or not it was a viable pregnancy, I wasn't sure. I just knew it was there. Two days later, I had a darker line. By 12/5, we had no doubts that the line was visible, and we would be having our 3rd baby.

Fast forward to this summer. Just before Lottie was born, I was looking at something about Tevin. I somehow found a different website, and it listed his birthdate as 11/25/1993. That meant he and David were 7 days apart in age. I decided I wanted to be sure to do something special on his birthday since I finally knew when it was!

November 25, 2016 was the day after Thanksgiving. I wasn't able to go see his chair at the memorial. I told Phil I would be praying for his family, and especially his mother. To think he would have been 23 this year really broke my heart. He could have been finishing college. His adult life would be just beginning. As I jumped on my phone to look at something, I was reminded that it was also the day I knew deep down that I was pregnant. I didn't have official confirmation, but I knew. To have that happen on his birthday? That just made the connection a little deeper.

Honestly, I'm not trying to put myself on the same spectrum as his friends and family. Their loss is so much greater and deeper than I will ever understand. All I'm saying is, this was just making me feel like I needed to remember Tevin. I needed to remember his family. I needed to pray for them. I needed to have someone else never forget who he was, and what he meant to others. I doubt I'll ever contact his mother or family, but they will always be on my mind in April, and in November. I don't want any of them to be forgotten.

Whether you think there's a connection too, or that it's just a coincidence, I know how these connections have made a difference to me. Happy Belated Birthday Tevin. May your family and friends rejoice in the joy you brought to them, rejoice in the promise of eternal life in God, and have His peace during this time.