Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Disney Character I Most Identify With

To begin, if you know me to any degree, you know that I love Disney. I have always loved Disney. I know almost all the characters, I can tell you random facts about various characters and/or movies, and I'm working hard to instill the same love of Disney in my children. That being said, anyone who has enjoyed Disney to any degree will usually be able to identify with some character in a movie.

We all like to think that we're just like the main hero/heroine of the story. We're brave, strong, true to ourselves, follow our hearts, etc. We very rarely ever identify with secondary characters, let alone characters who are usually in a negative light for the majority of the movie/show.

This is where I get real with you. I used to always identify with Cinderella because:
a) she was my favorite movie to the point that I literally wore out the VHS tape,
b) she was gentle and sweet, even when others treated her terribly, and
c) her dreams came true, even when it looked like all hope was lost.

While Cinderella is still my all-time favorite Disney movie, with The Princess and the Frog as a really close second, I've made a recent discovery that I felt like I needed to share. I no longer feel like Cinderella is the character I most identify with. After many many many many many viewings of various other movies thanks to my kiddos, I have found that I identify most with Marlin from Finding Nemo.

Hear me out.

If you watch in the beginning of the movie, Marlin is a very happy/goofy guy. He takes his family seriously, but does not seem to be the wet blanket he is the rest of the movie. Once the tragic events unfold, he is forever changed. While yes, this is a big deal, he let's it completely change who he is, and how he relates to the world. Once his son goes missing, he puts himself in unfamiliar, and sometimes unsafe, situations simply because finding his son is more important to him than anything else in the world. He slowly learns to interact with other people fish, and the world in a new, (and arguably better), way. He does eventually find his son. While he is still a little cautious, he lets go of the tragic events from his past so that his future is no longer held back. {At least, this is my perception of him}

Now a few things to clarify.
1) While I have had tragic/life changing events, none were as big as what happened to Marlin.
2) None of my children are missing.
3) I am not going on a journey of discovery to any degree anytime soon.
4) I am not quite at the stage Marlin was at the end of the movie. I'm still in the "journey" phase where I am learning to interact with the world around me while being in unfamiliar, and sometimes unsafe, situations.

I am very much the type of person to let situations, particularly negative ones, completely change who I am, and how I interact with the world. It's not always in a big way, but enough that I always notice the change.

The biggest situation being my bout with postpartum depression. Two years later, I'm still learning how to interact with others again. I'm so much more social awkward than I've ever been my entire life. I'm like, the 12 year old boy on a group date, trying hard to figure out when to grab the hand of my crush during the movie without vomiting all over the theater. {Extreme analogy, but accurate} It takes an enormous amount of mental prep, practicing, and energy for me to talk to/invite/interact with someone. And this is just the people I've known, and been friends with for years. It takes so much for me to talk to someone around my age that I don't know well, that I end up coming off as really rude/standoffish.

We had a cellist play with our choir at church for Good Friday, and she was amazing! She was incredibly talented, and super sweet. She's younger than me, but was married, so we had a little in common. I had to fight the voice in my head every time I was around her. The voice that told me things like: "She won't want to be friends with you. You have kids, and she does not. What makes you think you're cool enough to be friends with anyways? You have no interesting stories to tell. You can't even keep up with the cool scene of what's in anymore." {Yeah, my inner voice is really rude!} Anyways, I was able to at least say enough that I felt like she knew I thought she was cool, and hope she can work with our choir again.

But that's what I'm talking about. I have allowed myself to be so paralyzed by my past that I can hardly function in a way that I want. I don't feel like I'm living my life the way I'd like to. I'm still figuring out who I am, and how I want to interact with the world. However, I'm letting my inner voice keep me in my anemone.

If I'm going to identify with Marlin, I need to go all the way. I need to embrace that journey. I need to help myself remember who I am. I need to figure out how I want to interact with the world, and then do it! Stop being afraid. Stop hiding in my anemone. Stop holding others back because of my own fears. This is most likely a lifelong process, but if I'm going to start, it might as well be today!

So here's to all you other Marlins out there. We can do this! We can find Nemo, as well as ourselves, as long as we "just keep swimming!"

3 comments:

  1. Everyone will live you, if you let them in! Keep your head up sweet girl. You have wonderful gifts to share with the world, if you can just get out of your own way. Miss seeing you and chatting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't seem to figure out how to make this thing not unknown! What the heck? Anyway, it's me Susan :)

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    2. I can't seem to figure out how to make this thing not unknown! What the heck? Anyway, it's me Susan :)

      Delete

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