Testing 1, 2, 3

{via}

I feel like I'm taking yet another life test right now. So far I'm passing, but I'm starting to worry a little. {Warning: This is going to be a little vague for now, but I will update with specifics later.}

You see, I recently made a life-changing decision. Ever since I came to that conclusion, I've gotta what I consider as signs that it is the right decision. It's right for me personally. It's right for my family. However, the test is coming in the form of guilt.

I already have a guilt complex. I hate it when people are mad/annoyed/hate me. I can't stand thinking that, when I walk into a room, someone has a problem with me being there. It makes me very sad to think that I've offended or hurt someone else. Even if I know it's what's best for me, I need to have approval from just about everyone to feel ok about it.

The particular situation I'm referring to would hurt/sadden several people. People I like, admire, respect, and hold dear. People who have become almost like family to me. I think deep down they would "forgive me" for this decision because they care about me.

It's becoming almost a daily struggle. When should I do this? Who should I tell first? What should I say? How do I go about this in the most sensitive light? Why do I have to feel so guilty if I feel it is what God is calling me to do?

The decision was hard enough to make. Now that I'm feeling more and more like it's the best time and best thing for me, why can't I let the guilt go? Will I ever be able to be completely happy and confident in my decisions without other people's approval?

Can I sharpen my pencil before I go on with this test?