This is it. Day 1 of accountability for me starts now. I've had enough and I'm making a change.
Honestly, I haven't felt this way in awhile. Maybe a little, but definitely not to this degree. I believe I was a senior in high school the last time. What am I talking about? Tunnel-vision determination. Having a specific goal and not letting anything stop me.
My weight is out of control. The pounds melted off for the few weeks I was able to breastfeed. I got down to 4 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I was SO happy.
Then I lost my supply.
Then my body started storing again.
I have always been worried about developing diabetes. I have one grandparent on either side of my family that developed Type II. Now that I'm on Metformin, I realize how close I am to developing it myself.
And? I want to be the type of mother than can keep up with her baby. It's not so bad now, but I want to be the best mama for Jillian I can. This means taking care of myself. Plus, I'm tired of avoiding any photos or videos we do of Jillian. I want to be comfortable taking pictures with my daughter!
I figured that by posting the embarrassing stats on my public blog, that will also help me get a kick in the butt that I need. It's one thing to say you're overweight, but another to admit just how bad it has gotten.
Here goes nothing...
Starting Weight: 235.6
Starting Upper Arm: 15"
Starting Chest: 45"
Starting Waist: 39"
Starting Hips: 50 1/2"
Starting Thighs: 27 1/2"
Starting Calves: 18"
Today was the first day. I'm tracking what I'm eating and I re-started my Biggest Loser workout video series. I started it once before but gave it up after awhile. This time? I'm gonna do it! You know how I can tell I have that motivation again?
I woke up this morning feeling really tired, (though that's commonplace right now). I figured losing an hour of sleep was the main culprit. I almost skipped working out like I had been planning. I sucked it up and went to the living room to start. Then halfway through the first workout? I felt sick. I'm talking first trimester, look-out-I'm-gonna-blow kind of sick. I paused the video and chilled out by the toilet just in case. I didn't actually throw up and I started to feel better after about 6 or 7 minutes. I got up and finished my workout. I could have just stopped there, but I knew it was important.
I've made every excuse before.
"I can't workout because the downstairs neighbors will hate me for making all that noise."
"I'm too tired this morning. One day won't hurt."
"I'll start tomorrow."
No. I'm starting today. Wish me luck :)